[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
The door of the karaoke room swings open and a Myanmar waiter walks in and places a plate of chicken tortilla wraps on the coffee table.
Jessica, Chow Kah, Wati and I lean forward to take a piece each, and we start to munch. Soft sentimental music is seeping from the China-made Tymphany speakers.
Wati (left pix) asks, “Hussein, why are you not eating?” Tonight, she is wearing fishnet stockings and heels, and a halter-top red dress which hugs her body, displaying her slopes and curves.
Hussein takes a drag from his Sampoerna cigarette. “I don’t want to gain more weight. My fourth wife said I’ve got a slight paunch."
“Never mind, darling, fat men make better lovers.”
“Baloney!” exclaims Jessica (pix below). She is garbed in a blue dress flattering her full breasts and tapered waist.
Wati sits up straight. “No kidding everybody. According to the International Journal of Impotence Research published in –-"
I ask with my mouth full, “When did you start reading medical journals?”
Wati smiles. “Ever since a few fatty clients started sending roses to me, I’ve been reading articles on fat guys.” She takes a sip of her Shirley Temple, drooping her eyelashes provocatively as the sweet-piquant concoction floods her mouth.
Hussein flashes a jealous look at Wati. “Obviously to find out whether there's any advantage in marrying a fat guy.”
“Which issue is the journal?” asks Chow Kah.
“Volume 20 of 2010 edition.” Wati dabs at her mouth with a tissue paper. “The article reported that researchers at Erciyes University in Kayseri, Turkey completed a yearlong study to find any correlation between body mass index and male sexual performance. They found that overweight men with beer guts lasted five minutes longer compared to skinny men. The fatsos’ performance in the study group lasted an average of 7.3 minutes.” She rises to her feet, brushes tortilla crumbs off her lap and runs her hands through her hair (pix below).
“Wow!” Chow Kah exclaims, crooking his eyebrows. “That means if he makes love 70 times a year, that would amount to more than eight hours! Phew…almost like a working day!”
“So what?” sneers Jessica. “Fatsos are notorious for having a small plonker. Theirs are probably covered with a thick layer of fat! That’s why they feel less sensation.”
She crosses her legs at the knees; the hem of her dress rides up and I can see goose bumps on her creamy thighs due to the cold air-conditioning.
Chow Kah burps slightly and brings his hand to his mouth. “No, the willy’s made of muscle and spongy tissue, no fat.” He bends to the coffee table and takes another piece of chicken tortilla wrap.
I ask, “Wati, did the article mention the reason for the longer performance.”
“Yes, according to the scientists, fat guys have more estradiol, a hormone that helps to inhibit orgasm.”
“See?” Jessica says with a sparkle in her eyes. “The reason is along the lines of what I’ve said earlier.”
“A lardo has another plus as a lover,” Wati adds. “Cuddling a skinny man is like hugging a skeleton. Embracing a fatso’s akin to hugging a teddy bear.”
“What about the con?” retorts Jessica. “Fat men are more prone to impotence than men with normal weight. This finding was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2010.”
“Ladieees, discussion on this topic is now closed,” Chow Kah says. “We sing after we finish eating.”
/end
MY LATEST NOVEL
MY BEST-SELLING NON-FICTION
/end
No comments:
Post a Comment