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Monday, July 21, 2014

The military thugs of Putin must pay for the massacre they've committed!


Below are Vladimir Putin's military-thugs-cum-butchers who were responsible for shooting down Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17:


Igor Strelkov (centre) nicknamed "Igor The Terrible"
Commander-in-chief of Donetsk separatist rebels



Alexander Borodai (centre)
"Prime Minister" of Putin-backed Donetsk People's Republic, an unrecognized state


They must pay for the massacre they've committed.

/end

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Sifu Sabrina, KL's hottest feng shui consultant, analyses the possible cause of our country’s misfortunes



[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]

I take a sip of green tea and put the porcelain cup down on the desk in front of me. “Why is misfortune hitting our country, Sijia Sabrina?” I ask. “Kidnappings and killings in Sabah, airplane crashes one after another." I lean back and cross my legs at the knees. "What’s wrong? And what remedy do you recommend?”

“Please call me Sifu as this word is more popularly used,” Sabrina says, leaning back on the leather armchair and kicking off her stilettos. “Now, whether a company rises or falls depends on the CEO. Likewise, whether a country suffers bad luck or enjoys good luck depends on the statesman.” She clicks on her computer’s mouse, taps the keyboard, and looks at the screen. Then she pulls out a sheet of paper from her left-hand drawer and scribbles on it. “There!” She pushes the paper across the desk to me. “See? Datuk Najib’s kua number is 2 because he was born in 1953. His auspicious direction is northeast. I don’t know what direction Perdana Putra – his office building – is facing but preferably, it should face northeast. His office desk in Perdana Putra should also face northeast, including his private and official residence." She jabs the air between us with her forefinger. "In fact, the headboard of his bed should also be facing northeast. Maybe, Najib’s facing an inauspicious direction most of the time and if that's the case, it could be causing misfortunes for our country.”

I hear a growl and look under her table.

Sabrina's poodle slinks up to her feet. "It's time to feed my dog," she says, smiling. "You've to excuse me."

/end


Innige deelneming aan de familie en vrienden van passagiers en bemanning aan boord Malaysia Airlines Vulcht MH17.



Innige deelneming aan de familie en vrienden van passagiers en bemanning aan boord Malaysia Airlines Vulcht MH17. Kunnen de daders voor de rechter worden gebracht en worden verzonden naar burn in HELL!



Deepest condolences to the families and friends of passengers and crew aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17. May the perpetrators be brought to justice and be sent to burn in HELL!

/end

Friday, July 18, 2014

Sexy Jessica of Hot Legs Nightclub advises girls to wear hairy-legs stockings to deter perverts and would-be molesters



[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]

“Eeeeeeek!" Chow Kah screams on seeing Jessica walk into karaoke room in a spaghetti-strap black dress.

My eyes nearly pop at the sight of Jessica’s hairy legs. “What happened to your legs? You applied hair–loss tonic on them?”

Jessica (pix below) giggles until she almost doubles over. “No! I’m just wearing hairy-legs stockings!” Kicking off her stilettos, she puts one foot on the coffee table and starts to unroll the stocking off one leg, then the other. “See? They’re just stockings. I just wanted to test your reaction to them.”



Chow Kah whistles in relief. “Where did you get them?”

“From Guangzhou in China. My sister went there last week and she bought me a pair. Seems that mainland-China men are lechers and perverts. They like to grope woman’s thigh in buses or take underskirt shots from the bottom of escalators. These hairy-legs stockings are useful as a deterrent to molest and rape.” She flings the stocking on the coffee table and slinks to the sofa to sit beside Chow Kah. “I recommend Malaysian women who travel by LRT or bus to buy them.”

“Can be bought online?” asks Chow Kah, putting his hand on Jessica’s lap.

“Of course, but websites of e-stores selling them are in Mandarin.”

“Price?” I ask.

Jessica wraps one arm around Chow Kah’s waist. “Nine hundred and ninety eight yuan. Equivalent to almost five hundred ringgit.”

/end


Thursday, July 17, 2014

Nationalities of passengers and crew aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 which was shot down in Ukraine




Netherlands: 154
Malaysia: 43 (including 15 crew and 2 infants)
Australia: 27
Indonesia: 12 (including 1 infant)
United Kingdom: 9
Germany: 4
Belgium: 4
Philippines: 3
Canada: 1
Unconfirmed nationalities: 41



(Source: Boston Globe)


/end


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Hot Legs Niteclub’s bombshells, Jessica and Wati, and their regulars discuss about – what else? – sexuality during a poolside BBQ



[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]

“Hussein, the facilities here are excellent,” I say, spearing a lobster from the grate of the BBQ and placing it on my plate. “This condo belongs to whom?”

Smiling, Hussein bastes the pieces of lamb and chicken and squids on the grate with a brown-coloured sauce. “My fourth wife’s condo. Since she’s gone for her Umrah, I decided to take the opportunity to hold a BBQ here.” He picks up a plate from a nearby mobile cart and transfers some squids to it. “Come let’s join them.”

We walk to the poolside where Jessica (pix above), Wati and Chow Kah are seated at a round table. Jessica and Wati are garbed in bikinis as they want to take a dip in the pool after the BBQ dinner. Chow Kah has on a pair of brown slacks with matching belt and a body-hugging shirt with two buttons undone at the top.


I settle down on a chair beside Chow Kah and ask, “So, what’ve you all been discussing here?”

Jessica pours some Marigold soya bean milk from a cardbox package into her glass. “Chow Kah’s been asking us how we feel about our bodies.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Whether we’re proud of our bodies.”

“Why you want to know, Chow Kah?” asks Wati.

Chow Kah prises off the cap of a bottle of Asahi Premiun Beer. “You first, Wati. You like your body? Proud of it?” He takes a gulp straight from the bottle.

Wati (pix below) sticks her chest out. “My figure's 38-24-34.” She looks coquettishly at Hussein. “It’s a body to die for. Of course I’m proud of it.”


Hussein looks at her chest and mops his forehead with a piece of Kleenex tissue.

Jessica stabs a piece of fish and dips it in teriyaki sauce. “Me, too. I feel good about my body. I thank God that He gave me big boobs and a sexy butt.”

“What’re you getting at, Chow Kah?” asks Hussein.

Chow Kah rises from his chair, walks to Hussein’s side and whispers into his ear. Husseins’s jaw drops and his eyebrows shoot up. “Really? Woo-hoo!”

I put down my fork and spoon and take a sip of Pepsi. ““Come on, share the joke.”

"It's not a joke, Ewe," says Chow Kah who returns to his chair and announces: “Both you ladies have — I mean will have satisfying sex lives. In other words, your sexuality functioning are healthy.”

"What do you mean?" asks Jessica. "And how did you arrive at the conclusion?"

Leaning down, Chow Kah pulls out a magazine from his bag under the table. “See this? Journal of Sexual Medicine, October 29, 2010 edition.” He flips to a certain page. “A research article titled ‘An assessment of body appreciation and its sexual function to women’ states that a woman’s feelings about her body can affect the arousal, orgasm and satisfaction aspects of her sexual function. ” He lets out a whistle. “Phew! Both you girls will be hot in bed!”

Jessica, her face flushed a deep red, starts to de-shell a prawn. “Where did you get that journal?”

Chow Kah lets out a chuckle. “From your uncle’s clinic," he says. "I told him I’m a close friend of yours.”

“Why, you son of a -– of a sneaky man!”

Leaning sideways, Wati (pix below) pats Hussein’s paunch and say: “Darling, with this beer belly, do you feel proud of your body?”


“My dear, of course not. I’m ashamed of my paunch.”

Jessica starts to chew on her prawn. “What about you, Chow Kah? You’re proud of your body?”

“Nope, I’m too skinny. I’m embarrassed to wear swimming trunks.” He takes another gulp of his beer. “Why you ask?”

Jessica bends sideways and yanks a magazine from her duffel bag on the floor. “This is the October 2013 issue of Psychology of Men & Masculinity.” She flashes a grin. “This research article ‘The relationship among body image, masculinity and sexual satisfaction in men’ concluded that men who have a negative image of their bodies will be dissatisfied in sex!” She giggles and covers her mouth with one hand. “Will also likely to have performance problems!”

Chow Kah slides down in his chair and his ears turn red. “That’s crap!”

“Yes, that’s rubbish,” adds Hussein, almost choking on his food.

/end

MY LATEST NOVEL



ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Link: monsoonbooks.com.sg
Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg)
ebook version will be available soon

/end


Thursday, July 3, 2014

Sifu Sabrina, KL’s hottest fung shui consultant, advises how to energize the Chinese dragon symbol



[Pix of model for illustration purpose only}

“Sifu Sabrina, in my past interviews with you, the various feng shui symbols were discussed.” I pull out a note pad and a ball pen from my shirt pocket. “Now, one popular Chinese mythical animal is the dragon which can also function as a feng shui symbol. How can you energize its power?”

Sifu Sabrina flutters her eyelashes. “Before going to that, I want to point out that the Chinese dragon is different from the Western dragon. The Chinese dragon has no wings yet it can fly. It's often depicted as playing with a fiery ball or pearl.” She gestures with a dainty palm to the cup in front of me. “Please drink your tea."

I take a sip of the hot jasmine tea. “That means one should not buy a picture or a statue of a Western dragon to use it as a fung shui element, right?”

“Righto.” She rests her arms on the desk and leans forward. “But there’s more. Preferably, the Chinese dragon symbol –- figurine or painting -- should be blue, red or gold in colour.”

A whiff of ylang yalang from her perfume quickens my pulse. “Under what circumstances should one invite a dragon into one’s home?”

“Whenever you face an obstruction in your business plan or personal ambition or career, it’s time to activate the dragon energy.” She looks at me in the eye for a moment longer than necessary. “The dragon energy is also useful when you need physical and mental endurance or a high level of motivation to sustain yourself at working at a long and difficult project.”

I scribble on my pad and lean back on my chair. “Placement of the dragon?”


Sabrina pulls out a feng shui book from her right hand drawer and rests one red fishnet-stockinged leg on her desk. “Generally, the dragon should be present in a room that is full of activity. But not the bedroom. In the kitchen, the dragon symbol should face the sink and tap where the water is used for cooking and drinking. This position energizes the water that you drink." She flips to a page in the book, glances at it and looks up. “Porcelain vases with dragon motifs or ceramic dragons should be placed in the south-west or north-east in the living room. In the office or study, hang a dragon painting behind you not facing you. Facing the dragon means confronting the dragon every day. A dragon behind you means having the dragon’s support.” She snaps the book shut, returns it to the drawer and goes to sit on the sofa. “Shall we continue here?” She points to her left foot. "See? I've a stylized dragon tattoo on my foot."


“Er, no need, I’ve only one more question.” I flip to a new page on my note pad. “Any taboos with the dragon?”

She tucks one leg under her buttocks. “Yes, never have a carpet or rug with an image of the dragon. Walking on the dragon will destroy its good vibes. Next, the bedroom is not a good place to have the dragon. Also, never frame a dragon painting with a wooden frame. Its power will be reduced. Always go for a metal frame.” She rises from the sofa, returns to her former spot and places one foot on the seat of her chair. “I think I pulled a calf muscle just now. Maybe resting the foot on the chair will set it right." She points to her left foot again. "See my dragon?"



My eyes run from her foot to her calf to her shapely fair thighs. "Er, it's very cute." I close my note pad and replace it in my shirt pocket and flash a sheepish smile. “Wow, your dragon's very powerful! My heart's pounding like a bass drum." I rise from my chair and start to walk towards the door.

Sifu Sabrina giggles."The dragon tattoo or my sexy legs making your heart pound?"

/end

MY LATEST NOVEL




ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Link: monsoonbooks.com.sg
Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).
ebook version will be available soon.

/end