Sunday, September 28, 2014
(Pixs of models for illustration purpose only)
I gulp a mouthful of water-melon juice and put the glass down. “Jess, anything interesting from the Journal of Seual Medicine?” I wipe my mouth with a piece of Kleenex.
“Why?” Jessica (pix above) is sitting with her back straight beside Chow Kah, her legs stretched out; they are shapely like a swimmer’s.
“My readers love new research findings on sexuality.”
Jessica’s hot-pink lips open like rose petals. “Did I tell you about a paper titled ‘Vaginal Orgasm is more Prevalent Among Woman With Prominent Tubercle of the Upper Lip’? A psychology professor named Stuart Brody of the University of the West of Scotland conducted the investigation.”
“Nope. But the name sounds familiar.” After a pause, I snap my fingers. “He’s the guy who found a correlation between the way a woman walks and her sexuality, right?”
Chow Kah’s face beams with interest. “Explain in layman terms, please, Jess.”
Jessica, absent-mindedly stroking Chow Kah’s inner thigh, continues, “That Stuart guy found that women with a puffy tubercle are more likely to experience orgasm when she has sex. Details are in Journal of Sexual Medicine, October 2011 issue.”
Hussein’s jaw drops. “Wow! Angelina Jolie has orgasm every time she has sex?” His right arm is wrapped around Wati’s waist, his hand lightly cupping the upper breast.
“No, don’t be mistaken.” Jessica’s left hand is slowly exploring the contours of Chow Kah’s back. "The study does not mean bee-stung lips but the little spot in the centre of the upper lips.”
Chow Kah tilts his head slightly down to look at Jessica’s lips. “Where?”
Voluptuous Wati, dressed in a bustier and denim shorts, cuts in, “The tubercle is the plump spot beneath the cupid’s bow. It can be seen clearly if you make a duck-face.” Tilting her jaw upward, she pushes her lips out, runs her hands through her hair (pix above), her bouncy breasts becoming a sensuous playground for thirsting hands, thirsting lips.
Running a gentle finger across her upper lip, Hussein splutters, “Wow! Big!”
Without knocking, Mummy Lulu struts into the karaoke room on stilettos, her pendulous breasts jiggling in her tiny top. “Well, Ewe, how’s the response to my toyboy tips? Got many hits or not?”
Staring at Mummy Lulu’s lips, Chow Kah gasps in surprise, “Jesus Christ! Mummy's tubercle is bigger still!”
“Of course! I also read that article,” says Mummy Lulu (right pix), pouting her lips. “So, lover boy, my offer’s still open.” She winks at Chow Kah. “My place or your place?”
Chow Kah blanches.
MY LATEST NOVEL
ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).
The book is sold in Europe and Australia at the following e-retailers:
--bol.com (The Netherlands)
Sunday, September 21, 2014
[Pixs copyright Ewe Paik Leong]
Kim Soya Bean -- purportedly Dr Mahathir's favourite -- stands at the junction of Jalan Petaling and Jalan Hang Lekir in KL's Chinatown. The hawker displays a newspaper clipping from Harian Metro which reported that Dr. Mahathir requested for a packet of tau fu fa from this stall when he was hospitalized in the National Heart Institute in 2007. I ate one bowl. The taste is not earth-shaking. Jenny's tau fu fa near the Section 20 Fish Head Noodles stall is better.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
[Pixs copyright Ewe Paik Leong]
Penang’s famous Teochew Chendul has opened an outlet in Level UG – same floor as B.I.G. -- of Publika Shopping Gallery. Its menu offers the following desserts: white coffee chendul, durian chendul, chempedak chendul, ice-cream chendul, original ice kacang, ice-cream ice kacang, nutmeg ice kacang, and chempedak ice kacang. For food, there are assam laksa, Penang curry mee, rojak, kuan jiang and popiah. Beverages available include white coffee, milk tea, lemon tea and cocoa. The chendul served here cannot be compared to that served at its HQ in Penang’s Lebuh Keng Kwee as it is watery. Nevertheless, its palm sugar still packs a powerful aroma.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
“Mummy Lulu, you’re the biggest cougar in town, so can you give some tips how to hook a toyboy?” asks Chow Kah.
Mummy Lulu squishes her eyebrows and leans forward on her desk. “Cougar?”
“A cougar is an older sexy woman who prefers a younger man.”
“Ah…thank you for the compliment,” says Mummy Lulu (right pix), flashing a set of pearly teeth. “But why you want to know?”
“So that I can advise my aunt. She told me she’s tired to dating beer-bellied, half-bald men.” Chow Kah crosses his legs and rests his arms on the armrests of his chair. “First question – where to find toyboys.”
“Before I come to that, the first point I want to emphasize is that the woman must look the part. She must look as attractive as possible for her age. That might mean that she has to go for a face-lift or dye her hair, if necessary.” She pulls out a 4R-size photo from her right side drawer. “See this? That was me a few years back. See how much younger I look now?”
Chow Kah gazes at the old photograph (right pix below) of Mummy Lulu. “Wow! What a transformation! I get your point. Keep in shape, use beauty products, get a breast-lift, go for dental implants, right?”
“Yes. Coming back to your question, there’re no cougar-dating or toyboy sites locally but nevertheless an older woman can use a general dating website to advertise who she wants to meet. She should be honest with her age and be explicit that she wants to meet younger men. I also recommend a cougar-to-be to hang in dance clubs and bars that cater to the younger set. She can go alone or with female friends. That’s the time for her to flaunt her jewellery and expensive clothes. In other words, to show her fine taste, maturity and financial stability. Definitely, she must dress to kill. But she must not expose too much flesh otherwise she might be mistaken for an old hooker! However, she should be a little flirty with her body language. You know, make eye contact with men who interest her and flash a smile. The oldest pickup line in the book ‘Can I buy you a drink’ can still make many young naïve hunks shake in their pants.”
Chow Kah feels something rubbing his leg. “Any dating tips?”
“She should control the conversation but not smother the youngster with motherly advice. She should be herself and not pretend to be young. Of course, she should foot the bill and not expect her date to go Dutch. A toyboy’s world may be small but that is an opportunity a cougar can tap into. The lecherous old woman, er, I mean, the cougar can take the toyboy to exclusive clubs, introduce him to new exciting sports and activities, or even take him on vacation in faraway lands.”
Chow Kah leans back and looks down at his feet. Holy shit! Mummy Lulu’s rubbing her bare foot against his shin! He starts to stammer, “What’re the -- the advantages of having a relationship with a younger man?”
“The cougar will feel younger and her life will be enriched, more exciting. Her sex life will be more satisfying if she’s into that. One caution about sex. Never go to the toyboy’s place for a fling. A hidden camera may be installed for future blackmail. Always use a hotel room or go to the cougar’s place.” She pushes her spectacles slipping down her nose into place with a finger and flashes a grin. "Well, handsome, my place or a motel?"
Shocked by Mummy Lulu's proposal, Chow Kah stands up suddenly, causing the chair to topple over backward. “Thank you for the tips!” He bolts from Mummy Lulu's office room like he's being chased by a tigress.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
[Pixs copyright Ewe Paik Leong]
We stumbled upon Flaming Melt while searching for food in Dataran Sunway. The moment we stepped inside Flaming Melt, the smell of cheese overwhelmed us. The seats were comfortable and the lighting was slightly dim. Tables were pretty close and I could hear what the patrons at another table were talking about. Above the counter, pictures of the different items were displayed. Though a self-service restaurant, the food was brought to us as there were only two tables at that time (2:45pm). The BBQ Pulled Chicken Melt had a sourish tinge because of one ingredient but I could not make it out, and the cheese melt did not dominate the texture. Rather, the crumbly toast shared the limelight with the cheese melt. The Tomato Sriracha Chicken Quesadilla reminded me of the roti canai chicken ham wrap I ate at Mr. Roti Canai in Putera Heights a week ago. Serious! But, Flaming Melt’s fare packed stronger flavour. The tomato soup was too spicy for me –- it had a heavy dose of pepper -- so my missus ate it. When we left, Saw Wen Xin, the café’s founder, bade “Thank you!” (Later, I saw her picture on flamingmelt.com). My evaluation: Flaming Melt is an excellent alternative to O’Briens.
17-1, Jalan PJU 5/10
Dataran Sunway, Kota Damansara
47810 Petaling Jaya
Tel: 017-472 4284
[Pixs copyright Ewe Paik Leong]
I had just eaten prawn mee with pork ribs at Auntie Lora Kopitiam in Taman Segar, Cheras, and was walking back to my car when I spotted Kafe Jojo Little Kitchen. A banner outside showed pictures of herbal chicken pan mee, fried pork pan mee, century egg dumpling pan mee, knife cut noodle and traditional pan mee. Curious, I ordered the herbal chicken pan mee. Sheesh! It was horrible. The soup’s texture was thick and gooey; the taste did not refresh but near-suffocated my taste buds. Well, maybe other dishes are tasty.