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Saturday, February 6, 2016

The Gang of Four of Hot Legs Niteclub discuss tips on giving Valentine’s Day presents



[Pixs of models for illustration only]

I take a sip of my vanilla sundae and put the glass down. “Ladies, any tips for giving Valentine’s Day presents?” I flick my gaze at Jessica and Wati. The scent of jasmine from the perfume of the two ladies wafts about in the karaoke room, blown by the cool air of the air-conditioner. 

Chow Kah and Hussein are munching nuts and they each show a thumb-up. Hussein is sitting to my right with Wati while Chow Kah is snuggled in the far end of the U-shaped sofa, accompanied by Jessica (pix above). “Good topic for discussion,”  Chow Kah says as he squirms closer to Jessica.

“First rule,” Jessica says, “is never ask your girlfriend what present she wants for Valentine’s Day.” Chow Kah places a hand on her lap but she brushes it away. “If you need to ask, it shows that you don’t bother to think or you don’t know her taste.”

Seated beside Hussein, Wati (pix below) turns sideways to face me. “The present must be appropriate to the level of relationship.” She crosses her legs at the knees, revealing satiny brown skin. “For example, you should not buy a sexy silk lingerie for a girl whom you’ve known for only three months.”




Jessica leans forward and takes a song menu from under the coffee table. “That should be common sense. No matter how filthy rich you are, if you’re not sure whether she has feelings for you, an overly expensive gift can scare your female friend away.” She starts to flip the pages of the song menu. “Worse, the gift may be returned. Which is like a slap in the face.” She presses the intercom on the side table. “James, one chocolate sundae, please. With kacip fatimah." 

Chow Kah lifts up his mug, gulps his beer and nods in understanding. “What about live animals like a cute poodle or some exotic pet? Okay to give them?”

Wati  picks up a sliced orange and stats to peel away the skin. “Giving pets is like walking on a minefield. Unless, she has mentioned about wanting to own a pet. You know, keeping a pet can be a hassle.”

I spear a slice of Solo papaya from a platter on the coffee table. “Flowers are the safest to give.”

Wati feeds Hussein the peeled orange. “Be aware of the significance of the different colours of flowers.” She plucks a tissue and wipes her hands. “Red roses symbolize love and romance. Ditto for pink roses. Yellow roses represent friendship. So it’s alright to send them to a female friend to test the water. If she reacts negatively, you can explain the significance of yellow and that you treasure her friendship, nothing more. There you are, you've saved yourself the embarrassment of rejection."

“Also be careful how you give them.” Jessica flicks her gaze at Wati. “Should you send them to the office or give them personally? If the girl travels by bus or LRT, it’s pretty silly to send flowers to her office. But even if she drives, a girl may not want to be the centre of attraction. Her colleagues may even tease her. Though it may be done in jest or good spirit, she may blame you for the teasing she receives.” 


I take another sip of my vanilla sundae. “So far, all of you’ve been discussing presents between boyfriend-girlfriend. A married man should also celebrate Valentine’s Day with his wife.”

Wati nods. “True!” She grabs a handful of salted nuts and pops them in her mouth. “I don’t want a man who’s romantic when he’s a boyfriend but unromantic when he becomes my husband.” 

“Any ideas for a married man to celebrate V-Day with his wife?” asks Chow Kah, slipping an arm over the shoulder of Jessica.

“Don’t even think of anything that has great practicality,” I say, gazing at the faces looking at me. “Avoid vacuum cleaners, meat grinders, mixers, ovens and other kitchen appliances.” 

Hussein grins. “Not necessarily. If she’s anti-Valentine’s Day, the husband should give mops, brooms and floor polish. Maybe Cosway’s Powermax Toilet Bowl Cleaner or Amway’s Liquid Organic Cleaner! You get the drift? That'll teach her not to be anti-Valentine's Day."

Wati feigns a grimace and tugs her hair playfully (pix below). “You’re a horrible man. I wouldn’t want to be your missus. Or for that matter, mistress.”



Jessica rubs her forefinger and thumb. “The best V-Day present a man can give his wife is money.”

Chow Kah sits up straight. “But what if the husband doesn’t earn much?” 

“In that case, the husband can offer to do the chores for one or two days so that his wife can relax,” I say. “Maybe he can bake a heart-shaped cake and some finger food to be shared among the family members. You know, a simple Valentine’s Day celebration at home.”

Jessica jerks her head back, and scrunches up her nose. “That’s romantic?” she asks and leans back on the sofa. A Myanmar waiter enters the karaoke room and brings Jessica her glass of chocolate sundae. 

I spear another piece of fruit from the platter and bring it to my mouth. “There are ways to spice up the home party. The husband can compose a love poem and read it out to his wife in front of the kids.”

“Good idea,” Chow Kah says. “But a candlelight dinner in a restaurant is always more romantic than a home celebration.”


“Of course! That was what I did last year,” Hussein says, suddenly sitting upright. “I took my fat, ugly first wife for a V-Day dinner in Kampung Datuk Keramat. Followed by karaoke in Chow Kit." He takes out his mobile and shows her picture (right).  “That always-nagging tigress asked why I chose that restaurant which is notorious for its lousy food and horrible service. I explained that the restaurant offered a fifty percent discount for customers who paid by Visa credit card. And I'm a Visa credit card holder!" He jabs a button on his mobile again and a video starts to play (below).  “This is my fourth wife. Sexy eh?  Because she's nice to me, I took her to Tanzini Upper Deck in G Tower. Phew! Cost me a bomb! Both wives deserve what they got!”



/end

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Gong Xi Fa Cai greetings from Jessica






"I wish all Chinese readers of the Wordslinger blog, a happy and prosperous Year of the Monkey," Jessica says (pix above).



Thursday, January 21, 2016

Want to enjoy gardening though staying in a condo? You can! With the help of this book






Excerpts from the author’s Facebook:

Who should read this book: 
Beginners or those with zero knowledge in gardening.

Who is this really for: 

Especially urban folks who live in smaller spaces such as condominiums, apartments and townhouses, also for those who just want to start a small gardening project.

Why should I get this book: 
This book covers everything basic about gardening from basic requirements of plants, basic gardening tools, guidelines to growing healthy plants, 25 plant choices for small spaces to guidelines in making your own small-compound garden and indoor gardening.

It also comes with 12 mini projects under the chapter of One Garden Project a Month, where readers are encouraged to pick and execute one project for one month.

And if that’s still not enough, it also comes with additional resources on where to source for plants and gardening supplies, as well as a list of fifty garden plants and their basic attributes.

How much is it?


RM35.90

/end

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Sifu Sabrina gives her predictions for the different economy sectors for the Fire Monkey year




[Pix of model for illustration only]

 I rest my hands on my lap and flick my gaze at Sifu Sabrina’s red lips. “What sectors of the economy are expected to do well?”

“Water, Metal and Fire will perform well.” She pushes a porcelain cup of tea towards me. “Wood and Earth will be weak.”

I lift the porcelain cup and take a glug. “What are Water industries?”

“Shipping, distribution, casinos, tourism, oil, telcos, music, literature, spas, shipbuilding, retailing, journalism, ice cream, fish, launderette, beverages, brewing of beer, making of soy sauce and those products that need water to be produced. The Fire Monkey is a hot year so to speak so water will be in great demand.”   

“Metal?”

Sifu Sabrina lifts up the lid of the pot and looks inside. “CPA firms, banking, legal profession, mechanical engineering, jewellery and hardware stores, petroleum, IT, hardware, electronic parts, motor spare parts and products or work related to metal like aluminium extrusions, iron and steel.” 

“What about fire?”

“These are products and services related to heat.” Sifu Sabrina turns at the waist to take a hot water flask. “Examples are electrical products, power stations, bakery, restaurant, fast-food chain, semi-conductor factories, electrical engineering, cosmetics, and work related to sales and insurance.”  She pours more hot water into the tea pot.

“Why you say Wood is not good?




“Fire destroys wood. Examples of Wood element industries are furniture, coffins, fashion, hair salons, logging, sawmill, textile, book store and occupations like writer and novelist.”

I sit up straight. “Sheesh! I’m a writer so next year's not good for me?”

“Can be tempered by your DOB: date of birth. Also, if you take preventive measures, you can mitigate the unfavourable influences.” Sifu Sabrina casts me a gaze filled with dollar signs in her eyes. “We can discuss the measures and my consultation fees after this.”

“No, thank you. “ Flashing a smile, I rest an elbow on the arm of my chair. "Coming back to our discussion, can you give examples of Earth industries?”

“Property, sand mining, quarrying, pottery, ceramics, pet stores, oil palm plantations. Professions in the Earth element are real estate negotiator, farmer, renovation contractor, architect, civil engineer, professional golfer, footballer, HR people and PR consultants. These people will not fare well in the Fire Monkey year.” Sifu Sabrina sips her tea, eyes glinting over the rim of the cup with annoyance and puts the cup down. “If you’re not interested in consulting on the preventive measures in your particular case, you’ll have to excuse me.” She rises to her feet. "Our interview's over."

 /end 

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Angie Ang, Penang’s romance and marriage consultant, gives tips on how to date beautiful women





[Pixs of models for illustration only]

Cigarette clamped between his lips, Peter Phang strides on the pavement on Gurney Drive after having taken his dinner. As he approaches his car, he sees a stunner walking on the other side of the road. In the same league as Japanese actress Keiko Kitagawa, the woman (pix above) is garbed in a black bare-back top that reveals a 38-24-36 figure.  

Peter exhales a puff of smoke. “Someday, I’m doing to get a girl like that!" He turns his head to admire the sway of her hips and her long, flowing hair.

Wham! He crashes into a lamp post, staggers backward and falls on his butt. Face grimacing in pain, he decides that it’s time for an appointment with Angie Ang, a romance and marriage consultant based in Love Lane. He looks around on the pavement. Where’s his cigarette? Gee! He must have swallowed it!

****




Peter rests his hands on the arms of his chair. “Miss Ang, I want to have a hot, pretty girlfriend. Can you advise me?”

“Have you approached any beautiful women?” Angie rests on arm on her desk (pix above).

“Nope, I’m scared.”

“A man who’s afraid to approach beautiful women should sprinkle fertilizer in his crotch and water it every day.”

“What do you mean?”

“He should first grow two balls!” Angie releases a chortle. “A faint heart never wins a fair lady, and a brave heart is needed to win a beautiful lady. If a man isn’t handsome, another quality is needed: a thick skin.” She studies Peter’s face. “You’re not too bad looking, so what’s holding you back?”

“Apart from being fearful, another reason is money.” He rubs his thumb and forefinger. “I’m just the typical office executive and my Papa’s not a millionaire. Therefore, I've insecurities about my finances, you know, I'm scared she might look down on me because I'm not rich."





“In that case, you need to show you’ve potential and are working towards higher goals.” Angie casts a gaze at Peter’s eyes. “Some rich men’s sons are wastrels and playboys. The intelligent dudette knows there’re such thrill-seeking hyenas lurking around, so some don’t always fall for money. Therefore, a go-getter can make a positive impact on a pretty gal. Example, a guy who turns into a beach bum at Batu Ferringhi every Saturday is assessed differently from another who’s attending stock-market-trading seminars or studying part-time for a second degree or starting a part-time business. If the woman perceives her suitor as a potential self-made millionaire or a potential high-achiever, he still has a 50:50 chance of winning her. You get the drift? Be a man of high potential. That’s how you solve the money aspect of getting a beautiful GF." She pauses and twirls a lock of hair. “Of course, the basics of being a gentleman must also be there. Good personality, good grooming, perfect social etiquette. No need to wear Bally shoes or Gucci shirts. Just dress smartly and smell good.”

Peter lifts his arm and takes a sniff at his armpit and Angie’s jaw slackens. He smiles sheepishly when he sees Angie scrunching up her face, her eyes wide with horror. “How to meet beautiful women?”

“Expand the boundaries of your social life. Go less often to hawker stalls in Chulia Street or Lorong Selamat. Focus on trendy spots where you’re likely to find 10/10 or 9/10 babes. Examples are clubs in Upper Penang Road or cafes in upscale shopping malls. A fitness centre is also a great place to meet hot babes as many of them like to maintain their figure. A self-service laundrette is also a good try. Very few beautiful women join online dating sites so forget those avenues. Those who do are very likely planning to marry foreigners to leave the country for good. Also ignore the pretty faces in Facebook who have two or three thousand friends. You’re unlikely to stand out from the crowd.”
 
“Can you give me some techniques to approach her?” 





“Never give a sui chabor a second or third glance and smile hoping that she smiles back. That’ll never happen. Just go over and talk to her. Whatever you say, never compliment how beautiful she looks. Gorgeous girls have heard such sweet words a zillion times. Talk to her like she's an ordinary woman but display rock-solid self-confidence. If she walks away, never follow her around. Be a man and accept the rejection. When you’re home, record what you’ve said and how in a notebook. Yes, write it down – I’m serious.  Use that same tactic again a few more times.  If it still doesn’t work,  that means you’ve to change or fine-tune the approach.  If you manage to get a first date, treat it as an ordinary date. If you want to, just bring a single rose. Not a big box of chocolates or a dozen roses. For a first date, that’s over-doing it. She probably has other guys queuing up to buy her things. So, your gift probably won't mean much to her. For the average man who can’t impress her with a Platinum American Express credit card -- annual fee is three thousand plus -- or good looks, he should use other means to outshine his competitors.” She leans back on her chair. “See the type of woman whom Salman Rushdie has been married to? That’s the power of intellect. So, make an impact on her with your intellect, conversational skills and self-confidence. A sense of humour is also an asset.  Be somebody she can have good, clean fun with.  A man who displays body language that indicates nervousness (pix below), will lose the battle even before it’s begun.”


  
Peter hikes his chin. “Where do I take her?”

“A decent cozy place you can afford in the long run." Angie brushes a stray hair from her face. "A common mistake by some men is to take a girl to a super-expensive place on the first date to impress her. But when the lucky fella has subsequent dates every weekend, he feels the pinch and tries to downgrade the venues with excuses like, I know this hawker centre that’s fantastic or Ah Chai’s char kwey teow is die-die must eat! This will be disastrous and will surely lead to being dumped in the friendship zone.” Angie exhales a breath. “In summary, you just need  more finesse in executing your tactics and some adjustments in approach. Beautiful women are also human beings. Don’t be scared.”

/end


Saturday, January 9, 2016

Beware of activities that can cause koro, advises Master Mah, a traditional Chinese physician





 [Pixs of models for illustration only]

“What’s wrong with you?” Master Mah (pix above) asks.

Chow Kah rests his hand on the tiny pillow on Master Mah’s desk. “My hands and feet are cold. My knees feel tired for no apparent reason.”

“Any idea how this condition happened?”

“Earlier this afternoon I was in a spa.” Chow Kah flicks his gaze down at the desk for a moment. “After the massage, I dunked in the jacuzzi and cold pool. A few hours later, I started to feel unwell.”

Master Mah feels Chow Kah’s pulse. “Was it a naughty session?”

Chow Kah’s face turns red. “Naughty?”

“Did you have sex?”

“Er, yes, then I drank cold beer – three bottles -- and took a dip in the cold pool.” Chow Kah heaves a sigh. “The weather’s hot so I stayed in the pool for more than an hour.”

“Be careful of what you do after sex.” Master Mah casts Chow Kah a stony expression. “You might have died of koro. That’s  retraction of the penis into the abdomen, also called shuk yang. I'm serious, the result can be fatal. Luckily, you only caught a bad chill."

“Come on, that’s old superstition isn’t it?”

“No, Bruce Lee died of koro, didn’t you know that? The poor guy collapsed in Betty Ting’s apartment after a wild night of sex with her. The cause of Lee's death was the topic of gossip among the traditional physicians in Hong Kong.”

“Causes of koro?”

“Drinking excessive cold water after sex, excessive oral sex, sudden exposure to cold wind after sex. In your case, dipping in cold water after sex.”  Master Mah pulls out a drawer, takes out a thick book and flips to a certain page. “Please read this.” He hands the book to Chow Kah, picks up a pen and starts to write a herbal prescription on a pad.   

\Chow Kah holds the book in his hands and reads mentally:  “In 1834, traditional physician, Pao Sian-ow, wrote in his book New Collection of Remedies of Value that koro arises when after a fever, this poisonous heat remains in the sperm and the marrow, and can not be discharged. If intercourse is performed with a healthy person, the illness of the man will be passed on the woman, and vice versa, hence it is called Yin-Yan transposition. The patient feels heavy and short of breath, the lower abdomen is tense, the genitalia may be affected by spasm and retraction, that heat rises in the chest, the head is too heavy to be lifted up, the eyes are blurred and the knees and calves are tight.” Chow Kah looks up at Master Mah for a moment, notices that the sinseh is giving his prescription a once-over, so he continues to read. “In Chapter 14, the author identified cold as one of the causes of koro. He wrote that after an intercourse between the male and female, may be arising of exposure to wind and cold, or the ingestion of raw and cold food, the result is pain in the abdomen, the scrotum in the male or the nipples in the female are retracted.” 

Chow Kah snaps the book shut and takes out his moby. “Hello? OKT Sam? Mr. Ang, here. Please cancel my 8 pm appointment with Fifi (pix below), your ang pai.  I don’t want to die from her One Dragon service!”



“Here’s your prescription.” Master Mah tears off the front page from his note pad and hands it over to Chow Kah. “Get two packets, boil and drink the infusion and you should be fine.”


Chow Kah returns the book to Master Mah.  “Thank you.”

/end

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Year 2016 predictions for the 12 Chinese animal horoscope signs, according to Sifu Sabrina.





[Pixs of model for illustration only]

I enter Sifu Sabrina's posh office in Low Yat Plaza and see her at her rosewood desk. "Happy New Year!" I say, handing over a plastic bag.

"Thank you. " She leans forward on her desk. "What's this?"

"Some strawberries. " I plunk down on the visitor's chair, catching a whiff of her perfume. "A small token of appreciation for your predictions."

Sifu Sabrina reaches for the plastic bag and takes out three boxes of strawberries. "Where're they from? Ben's Independent Grocer? I know you like to shop there."  

I lean back on my chair and cross my legs at the knees. "Gohtong Jaya."

She opens a left-hand drawer, takes out a sheet of paper and hands it over to me. "Here you are -- my 2016 predictions."   

"Thanks." I put the sheet of paper in front of me and start to read her predictions: 

(1) RAT
Generally, this is a year free from major worries or problems.  Newly married female Rats may get pregnant while single Rats have an excellent chance of finding a life partner. Their social calendar will be pretty busy. Married Rats will enjoy harmonious relationship with their spouse. Career may see obstacles but Rats will meet saviours or helpful people.  So exercise patience and perseverance and your job problems will be solved. Rat businesspeople have an excellent chance to earn profits. This is the year to consolidate business for future growth. The first half of the year may pose minor health problems but from July onward, the Rat will be scurrying around in the pink of health.


(2) COW
For 2016, the idiom “nothing ventured, nothing gained” applies to the Cow. Rewards await the hard-working Cow, which is laid-back by nature. Right time for Cows to get up and put in more elbow grease. Relationship with spouse will be slightly rocky during the first half of 2016. Exercise give-and-take and all will end well. Unmarried Cows may find romance.  It is auspicious for Cow salaried employees to change to a better job or to ask for a promotion. Cow businesspeople need to use their acumen to the maximum to earn profits. The last quarter of 2016 will stretch the Cow’s business resources so cut down on unnecessary expenditure. In any business dispute, Cows have the upper-hand provided they have been alert and vigilant to legal loopholes and hidden clauses in fine print. The Cow will enjoy excellent health for 2016.

(3)TIGER
Being in direct conflict with Tau Sui, Tigers will need to make changes as this year is bad for  them.  Single Tigers have many opportunities to develop relationships but don’t rush in blindly.  Watch out for scams, insincere lovers and wolves in sheep clothing.  Married Tigers will suffer from emotional stress because of third-party interference.  The wage-earning Tiger will be burdened with new projects or additional responsibilities without any commensurate reward. Don’t resign in haste but consider new job offers carefully. Otherwise the Tiger will jump out of the fire into the frying pan. The 3rd and 4th quarter of 2016 will see financial strain on Tiger businesspeople. Budgets may have to be revised.  In business disputes, avoid court cases but seek arbitration as the Tiger's position is weak. As 2016 will severely tap the stamina of Tigers, they need to strengthen their immune system. 

(4) RABBIT
Overall, this is a satisfactory year. Relationship with one’s spouse will not be smooth in the 1st and 2nd quarters but by the end of the year, all problems will be solved. It is better for a newly-married  Rabbit to postpone any plan of having a baby. The popularity of single Rabbits will soar so this is the right time to expand their social circles. The heart of the married Rabbit may be rattled by a voluptuous sex bomb or a handsome hunk, but don’t be tempted to fool around. In career, the Rabbit should grab any opportunity of a new job offer. The new employer will like the Rabbit employee.  Businesspeople can venture to new markets or diversify or form new partnerships. Health is fragile and accidents may happen which will injure the Rabbit’s arms or legs.






(5) DRAGON
This is a productive year for the Dragon. In love, the single Dragon can find a boyfriend or girlfriend. A Dragon in love can consider engagement or marriage. The eyes of the married Dragon will be roving as temptations will cross his path.  The active social life of the Dragon means that new friendships will be forged.  Chances of career advancement for the salaried Dragon are excellent.  Those in business can expect the cash register to ring more often. This is the time to set aside funds for future expansion.  Business lawsuits, if any, will be in the Dragon’s favour. The Dragon will have opportunities for overseas trips or more leisure activities because of improved finances.  Health will be trouble-free but be wary of food poisoning.       

(6) SNAKE
The Snake will enjoy a fairly good year even though it is in indirect conflict with Tai Sui. In love, the male Snake will fare better in love than the female Snake. The female Snake needs to make the first move to hook a boyfriend but the male snake will be courted by more than one suitor.  The Snake employee will not encounter any major problem and work will go on as usual.  The bottom line of Snake businesspeople will be stable. However, there’s a risk of contingencies like bad debts and new government policies which can upset plans.  On a brighter note, new opportunities will present themselves but it is up to the Snake to pursue them according to their capabilities. They should not bite off more than they can chew. Health may suffer from over-activity if Snakes don’t make the time to rejuvenate themselves.    

(7) HORSE
This is an excellent year for the Horse. Love relationship will be smooth and married Horses will enjoy harmony with their spouse. If single Horses cast their net wide in new places, they will encounter exciting romances. Horses already in love will develop stronger bonds with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Career luck is good. A raise in salary is on the cards if the Horse’s performance is good. Relationship with co-workers will be cordial.   Businesspeople can expect tougher competition but they will still end up with a healthy P&L account through good management skills.  This is the time to plan for smart investments to weather future storms.  Health is trouble-free but be careful when exercising as there may be accidental injuries to muscles and bones.

(8) GOAT
Overall, this is a fair year for the Goat. Therefore, he/she needs to be proactive to stay on top of things. Love luck is overly strong. A past lover may appear and create trouble for the Goat. Social gatherings, dating websites and parties present opportunities for meeting a future love-mate.  Don’t waste time fooling around with several boyfriends or girlfriends as Goats need to focus their energies on their career or business. Married Goats must control their jealousy. Salaried Goats have to work hard to get noticed by their superiors.  Businesspeople need to find new clients to replace those lost to competitors. They will need to formulate new strategies to face new challenges. It is better to settle business disputes through negotiation rather than  law suits as the Goat’s position is not too strong.  Be careful of diet as the Goat is prone to stomach ailments in 2016.





(9) MONKEY
When Monkey meets Monkey, there is always trouble.  So says traditional astrologers. However, how a Monkey will fare in the Fire Monkey year of 2016 is tempered by the  person’s element:  Wood, Metal, Fire, Water or Earth.  Relationship with spouse will be strained for married Monkeys.  Single Monkeys may find themselves in a love triangle and lose their lover to a third party. Promotion prospects for employed Monkeys are slim and finding a better job will be tough.  Do not lend money to anybody or get involved in get-rich-quick schemes. Monkeys in business will earn profits in the 2nd and 4th quarters of the year.  However, be wary of giving excessive credit terms. Professionals should discharge their duties diligently lest there may be law suits for negligence.  The fire Monkey (born in 1968, 1980, 1992, etc), in particular, will be overwhelmed by lots of business- or career-related activities. Avoid personal quarrels and business disputes as they may lead to long protracted conflicts.  Health poses no problem during the 1st half of the year but due to stress, the 2nd half of the year will send the Monkey to the doctor or sinseh.

(10) CHICKEN 
The Chicken will face a roller-coaster year. Expect both windfalls and hidden pitfalls. In affairs of the heart, don’t be suspicious of anything or flare up out of blind jealousy. Married Chickens can expect their spouses to exert more control over them. Don’t do or say anything rash as you may not be able to undone the consequences.  However, in the 3rd quarter, all thorns in the relationship will be cleared. Social activities will increase for the single Chicken but many of the new friends will not be sincere. So, prefer the company of your family to new friends. Salaried Chickens will face greater work pressure from their bosses.  Think twice before changing jobs as the new boss may be even worse.  The Chicken in business should avoid high-risk-high-return projects but concentrate on low-risk-low-income opportunities. The Chicken’s respiratory system is susceptible to ailments so reduce smoking, vaping and exposure to the flu virus.

(11) DOG
Dogs will enjoy prosperity and happiness this year if they don’t act rashly.  Single female Dogs will attract new admirers and single male Dogs will meet more hot babes.  Right time to play party-animal till the wee hours or to cultivate helpful alliances with business associates. Dogs under employment will enjoy productive relationships with superiors and co-workers. Businesspeople should resist the temptation to splurge on CSR projects, overseas trips for staff or expensive corporate dinners as they do not bring in income. Better stash your profits for a rainy day. Health is good but there is a possibility of accidents so avoid dangerous sports like parasailing, dirt-biking and suchlike.

(12) PIG
The Fire Monkey year brings a mix of bad and good for the Pig, keeping him/her pretty busy.   The female Pig can plan for a baby if she so desires, and will be blessed with a healthy child.  The male Pig will feel highly sexed and may seek new ways to fulfill his desires. Be cautious as the risk of getting caught in an anti-vice raid is there. Unmarried Pigs may meet a love-mate from abroad but beware of scams.  Career luck is stable and co-workers are helpful.  Pigs in business will reap profits but they should not be complacent.  They should be alert to business sentiments and new consumer needs.  The Pig will enjoy good health until the 3rd quarter; thereafter, minor ailments like bladder infections and diarrhea will require medical attention.

I look up at Sifu Sabrina. "I understand you're born in the Tiger year, isn't it? Sheesh! It's going to be a bad year for you. Aren't you worried?"

She takes a bite off a strawberry (pix below). "A person should not be fatalistic. When the stars are not favourable, a person should take steps to remedy the situation." She licks her lips. "Hmmm, these strawberries are sweet." She takes a swallow and her mascaraed eyes shine with determination. "I'm going to buy two pairs of bronze pi yao to display, at home and in the office. They should help see me through the Fire Monkey year."



/end