Pages

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Grumpy Stephanie, Masterchef Singapore 2013, shares her recipe for braised pig's trotter with hair seaweed


(Pixs of models for illustration purpose only)

My mobile phone rings and I pick it up. It’s from an unknown caller.

“Hello, Ewe? This is Miss Sung, Stephanie’s niece. Remember, the MasterChef of Singapore 2013?”

“Yes, of course. Her recipe’s on my blog and response is good, got many hits.”

“That’s great! Tomorrow, my aunt wants to cook braised pig's trotter with hair seaweed for lunch -- 1 pm. Please come join us.”

“Sheesh! Last time, she almost clobbered me with a frying pan. I’m not too sure I want to come.”

“Not to worry, I’ll be around to make sure she doesn’t harm you.”

“Okay then, bye.”

****

I ring the door bell and Miss Sung swings open the door. "Hi, Ewe!"

"Good afternoon!" I say, stepping inside.

"Come, let’s go into the kitchen so that you can watch my aunt cook,” says Miss Sung.

We enter the kitchen to find Stephanie, her hair in curlers, sitting at a marble counter near the sink and writing on a note pad.

She gets up from the wooden stool and hands me a piece of paper. “Hello again, Ewe, here’s the recipe. Please, take a seat and watch me cook.”

I settle down on the stool vacated by her and put my heavy duffel bag on the floor.

Stephanie goes to the fridge and starts to pour some milk into a glass. “Come, boy, drink some cow’s milk, it’s good for you.” She smiles to reveal yellow teeth.

“Sorry, I’m allergic to cow’s milk.”

“Are you sure?” Stephanie replaces the plastic container of milk back in the fridge. “You’re such a wet blanket. A Sikh cowherd from Kampung Kutty brings the cow milk here every -- "

Miss Sung cuts in, “How about a nice cup of tea, then?”

“That’s better.”

A smiling Miss Sung (pix below) makes me a mug of tea and I sit at the kitchen counter and run through the recipe.


1 pig’s trotter (singed skin, break bones without breaking skin)
¼ oz (7 g) fatt choy (hair seaweed) (rinsed)
2 teaspoon salted yellow bean paste
1 piece fermented bean curd
2 shallots (chopped)
3 cloves garlic (crushed)
2 cloves anise
1 tablespoonful dry sherry
Water to cover
¼ teaspoon cornstarch blended with 2 tablespoons water
1 ½ tablespoons oil

Seasoning ingredients:
1 teaspoon sugar
1½ teaspoon black soy sauce
A pinch of monosodium glutamate

Method
1. Saute garlic and shallots in heated earthen pot until fragrant
2. Add blended bean paste and trotters. Saute for some time.
3. Pour in water to cover half the trotters. Add aniseed and sherry. Simmer for two hours until tender.
4. Add the fatt choy and seasoning ingredients. Braise for a while.
5. Transfer trotters onto a plate. Thicken remaining gravy with blended cornstarch. Pour sufficient gravy over the trotters and serve hot.

Two hours later, I’m at the kitchen table with a plate of the Chinese New Year specialty in front of me.

Stephanie gestures with her palm at the dish. “Try!”


{Pix of braised pig trotter courtesy of Peter Tan]

From my duffel bag, I take out my Iron Man helmet and wear it. "I ain't scared of your frying pan, Stephanie!"

Miss Sung starts to giggle and Stephanie rushes to the kitchen. She comes back with a rifle in her hands. “Don’t move!”

“Don’t shoot! It’s delicious! It’s delicious!” I say, raising my hands in the air.

Stephanie takes aim at a spot behind me and pulls the trigger. BANG! “Got the critter!” She walks calmly to a cupboard and stoops to lift up a rat by its tail. “I bought this air rifle from Hatyai to kill rats. It can also kill birds and squirrels."

My eyes bulge. The rat is as big as a cat.

“Good work, auntie,” says Miss Sung. “Ewe, can I try your Iron Man helmet?”

“Sure!”


/end

MY LATEST NOVEL



ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Link: monsoonbooks.com.sg

Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).

The book is sold in Europe, Japan and Australia by the following e-retailers:
--amazon.co.uk (UK)
--amazon.fr (France)
--bol.com (The Netherlands)
--bokus.com (Germany)
--adlibris.com (Denmark)
--platekompaniet.no (Norway)
--books-express.ro (Romania)
--nejlevnejsi-khihy.cz (Czechoslovakia)
--kinokuniya.co.jp (Japan)
--booktopia.com.au (Australia)

ebook version will be available soon.

/end

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Jessica of Hot Legs Niteclub gives tips on how to be a good mistress




(Pix of models for illustration purpose only)

“Jessica, have you got your good mistress tips ready?” I say.

Sitting on the milk-coloured soft across me, Jessica (pix above) digs a folded piece of paper out from under her T-shirt. “Yes, they’re in point form. But I’ll elaborate as I read them. Shall I start now?”

“What’s going on?” asks Chow Kah, scrunching his face.

Jessica turns sideways to look at him. “Yesterday, Ewe phoned and asked me to give tips on how to be a good mistress. He wants to post them on his blog.”

Chow Kah nods. “Aha! That's an interesting topic. Fire away, darling.”

“A girl who wants to be a mistress must first master the art of making love. Most wives perform sex only to have babies not for fun. Most men seeking a mistress are those bored with sleeping with their wives. Therefore, a girl who can perform like a porn star stands an excellent chance of becoming someone’s mistress for life, instead of short-term.” Her gaze moves from Wati’s face to Hussein’s to Chow Kah’s to mine. “Now, I don’t mean behave like a slut, far from it. She should be classy and sophisticated.

“Having said that, sex shouldn’t be the sole foundation of her relationship with her lolly papa. She should share his interests and hobbies as well. If he likes to go fishing, she should take it up as a hobby too. If he’s a voracious reader of horror novels, it’s time for her to read Stephen King. Then only will they have things to talk about, discuss about and laugh about.

“Third, she should take extra effort to make every moment with his sugar papa sweet and memorable. Be his playmate who’s fun to be with. Be romantic, not a wet blanket. For example, she can buy him small, inexpensive presents when they meet. If she doesn’t know how to be romantic, she can read this ebook called How to be Romantic by K.M. Ryan.”

“I’ve read it,” says Wati (pix below). “It’s useful for couples who want to keep romance alive in their marriage, not necessarily to be used by a mistress.” Using a toothpick, she spears a piece of pineapple from the fruit platter and brings it to her mouth.


Jessica harrumphs, take a long swallow of her Guinness Stout and lets Chow Kah dab her lips with a piece of Kleenex. “Next point -- she should be discreet about her lolly papa, not even discuss him with her best friend. KL’s not a big city and people hear gossip easily about others in the same industry. If a mistress gets her lover in trouble with his wife because of her indiscretion, he will hate him.” She fans herself with one hand and yanks off her T-shirt (pix below). "Phew! The Guinness Stout is making me feel hot."


Hussein says, “Yes, if the old bugger says no phone calls after 5 pm, she should observe that restriction.” He takes a gulp of Bir Bintang from his willybecher and burps slightly. “Sorry to interrupt, Jess, please go on.”

Jessica looks down at the paper for a moment, looks up again. “A mistress should never, never threaten to disclose the affair in an attempt to manipulate him. If the sugar daddy smells potential blackmail, he will drop her like a piece of dog shit. If she wants more of this –- ” Jessica rubs her forefinger and thumb together. “-- she should use sweet talk and persuasion, not hint a veiled threat.”

“Good advice,” says Hussein.

“My last point. A good mistress should never get emotionally involved with her sugar daddy.”

“What!” exclaims Wati (pix below), her jaw dropping, her toothpick falling to the floor.


“Yes, only in that way will the relationship be healthy. If she has fallen in love with her lover, she’s bound to be jealous of his wife and will attempt to break up his family. That’s not right.”

I show a thumb-up to Jessica. “An excellent talk, thanks, Jess. I also like your term 'lolly papa.' " I turn to Chow Kah. “Buddy, you want a mistress?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

“When my wife thinks I’m with my mistress and my mistress thinks I’m with my wife, I can come to Hot Legs Niteclub to drink.”

“Yay!” Jessica and Wati clap their hands in glee.

/end

MY LATEST NOVEL





ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Link: monsoonbooks.com.sg

Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).

The book is sold in Europe, Japan and Australia by the following e-retailers:
--amazon.co.uk (UK)
--amazon.fr (France)
--bol.com (The Netherlands)
--bokus.com (Germany)
--adlibris.com (Denmark)
--platekompaniet.no (Norway)
--books-express.ro (Romania)
--nejlevnejsi-khihy.cz (Czechoslovakia)
--kinokuniya.co.jp (Japan)
--booktopia.com.au (Australia)

ebook version will be available soon.

/end

Sunday, August 17, 2014

National University of Singapore's freshman orientation games a disgrace to the institution, says naughty teacher Natalie Tay



[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]

“So what that the National University of Singapore clinched position 26 in The Times World University Ranking 2014?” says naughty teacher Natalie Tay (pix above) of Cheras, Kuala Lumpur. “I came across a complaint about NUS in an online news portal called therealsingapore dot com. The complainant, who identified herself as Ms Ng, wrote this on 31 July 2014." She picks up a piece of paper from her desk and starts to read from it.

"‘It has come to my attention that the year 1 orientation camp went totally out of control. My nephew who enrolled with NUS went for the orientation camp two weeks ago and confided in me about the sick and degrading games the senior students or camp facilitators made the young teenagers/adults play. My nephew who just turned 21 was made to strip down to his shorts and was being blind folded and bounded by tape. He went on to say that the camp facilitators were making the girls who also attended the orientation to lick whip cream off his neck, his nipples and also rub her hands on his thigh, trying to sexually stimulate him. He also mentioned that they were made to do push-ups on top of the girls and other inappropriate and sexual moves. One of the girls broke down in tears as she felt pressured to perform all these shameless acts.

A reply given by one Ovidia of NUS was: ‘...I have asked the student office to look into the matter with the details you’ve provided.’" She puts the paper down and looks at her students.



"Similar complaints can be found in other Singaporean news portals. For all his few faults, if Lee Kuan Yew were still in charge of Singapore today, such things would never have happened in NUS. With its lax administration, no wonder NUS awarded scholarships to people like Alvin Tan. Any of your parents who still want to send their daughters to NUS?” Natalie pauses at the pin-drop silence for a few seconds and raps the blackboard with a long ruler. "Okay, now let's get back to what's written on the blackboard, not stare at me."

/end

Saturday, August 16, 2014

MasterChef Stephanie of Singapore treats me to stuffed duck’s feet and reveals its recipe


My cell phone rings and the caller ID shows Chow Kah.

“What’s up, buddy?”

“Hey, Ewe, you want to feature a chef called Stephanie Sung in your blog? She’s a Singaporean and is coming to visit her relatives in Cheras this weekend. She wants to share her Hong Kong-style stuffed duck's feet recipe with your readers. I’m going to email her photo to you now. You can put it on your blog. Please check your inbox shortly.”

Five minutes later, after a few clicks of the mouse, I see Stephanie’s photo (below right) on my computer screen and call Chow Kah. “Yes, I got her pix. She's gorgeous. But how did you know her?”

“Her niece in KL is my wife’s friend of another friend. When you want to go over?”

“Saturday, eleven o’clock in the morning will be fine.”

“Great! I’ll email you the address. Thanks.”

*****

At ten minutes before eleven, I jab the doorbell button of Stephanie’s condo and the door swings open inward to reveal a girl (pix below), not more than mid-twenties, standing in the doorway. “Ah, you must be the blogger, Ewe." She steps aside. “Please come in. It’s safe to leave your shoes outside.”


(Pixs of models for illustration purpose only)

I catch a whiff of citrus and blueberry from perfume as I step in and go past her. “You’re a relative of Stephanie?”

“Yes." She closes the door and starts to patter away on dainty feet. "This way, please. She's waiting."

We cross the living room to the dining room. A silver-haired woman (below right) seated at the dining table smiles at me. “Welcome, I’m Stephanie Sung.” Her voice is like that of an old mother hen's.

My jaw loosens; my heart drops to my toes. “But — but, Chow Kah sent me your photo earlier and -– "

Flashing a toothless grin, Stephanie waves a gnarled hand to dismiss the matter. “Oh, never mind! That photo was taken forty years ago. My niece attached it by mistake and clicked it to your friend's wife. It was only later that she realized it but I told her it doesn't matter.” She extends her hand across the table. “Come, please sit down.”

She pumps my hand, gripping it like an iron vice until I wrench it away. Ouch! Her hand feels like a bag of nuts and bolts! I sit down across from her, pull out my MP4 player from my hip pocket and place it on the table. “Would you like to tell me something about yourself, Miss Sung?”

“Please call me Stephanie. I’ll be delighted to. I’m the 2013 winner of MasterChef Singapore. I'm single, in fact, I’ve been widowed twice. Both husbands died of obesity. That's sad. ” She shakes her head. “I suppose I’m too good at cooking.”

“Which part of Singapore are you from?”

“Geylang.”

"Oh, I see." I suppress a snigger.

Stephanie wags her forefinger at me. “Now, don’t think I’m an O-K-P. I’ve a restaurant in Geylang and I also live there. Have been living there for almost 30 years.”

I knit my eyebrows. “What’s O-K-P?”

Ore kooi poh. Lady pimp, just in case your don’t know Hokkien.”

The girl who let me in earlier lets out a short giggle and I turn to look at her. She is now sitting with her legs in the lotus position on a chair ranged against one wall (pix below). I smile at her and she smiles back.


I hear Stephanie rapping the table with her knuckles. “Look here, please!”

I tear my gaze away from the bombshell with great difficulty.

“Now let me get to the ingredients.
Twelve duck’s feet. Cleaned, washed and boiled until soft. Put them aside.
Twelve fingers of Chinese roast pork, each 6 cm.
Twelve strips of pork fat, each strip 6 cm.
Twelve fingers of Chinese turnip, each 6 cm. All parboiled and drained.
Several lengths of duck’s intestines. They should be washed and cut into 10-cm lengths for tying.” She clears her throat. “Now, for the seasoning ingredients.
1 ½ tablespoonful of cooking wine
2 teaspoons of dark soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon of monosodium glutamate
2 teaspoons sesame oil
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon water.

Method of of preparation.
Season the pork fat, turnips and roast pork in seasoning ingredients for 20 minutes.
Wrap a piece of roast pork, pork fat and turnip to the hollow of each duck’s feet and secure by tying with duck’s intestine.
Place all the stuffed duck feet on a roasting tray and roast for them for 15 minutes in an oven.
Baste them with the drippings.
Serve with drippings poured over it.”

“One question. Duck’s intestine is difficult to get. Any substitute?”

“Sausage skin can be substituted.”

“Thank you, Stephanie.” I switch off my MP4 player.

The sweet old lady sniffs her nose and rises to her feet. “Ah, my stuffed duck's feet are ready.” She starts to waddle to the kitchen. “You can try them.”

She returns with a plate of the Hong Kong delicacy and puts it on the table.


Using a fork, I spear a piece, bring it to my mouth and start to chew on it.

“Delicious?”


“Sheesh! It’s tough, like leather! The duck's feet should have been boiled longer.”

Stephanie suddenly grabs a frying pan lying on the dining table with both hands and raises it, ready to use it as a club. “What did you say?” Her glinting gaze spears into my eyes. "Tough?" Her voice now resembles a tiger's growl.

My heart skips a beat. “Er, it’s excellent, crispy -– that’s what I meant. Full of flavour.”

The frying pan goes back to being a frying pan.

/end

MY LATEST NOVEL



ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Link: monsoonbooks.com.sg

Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).

The book is sold in Europe, Japan and Australia by the following e-retailers:
--amazon.co.uk (UK)
--amazon.fr (France)
--bol.com (The Netherlands)
--bokus.com (Germany)
--adlibris.com (Denmark)
--platekompaniet.no (Norway)
--books-express.ro (Romania)
--nejlevnejsi-khihy.cz (Czechoslovakia)
--kinokuniya.co.jp (Japan)
--booktopia.com.au (Australia)

ebook version will be available soon.

/end

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Mummy Lulu of Hot Legs Niteclub leaves her hubby for good


Mummy Lulu (right pix) enters her condominium in Sunway Palazzio, kicks off her shoes and enters her bedroom.

Business has been good at Hot Legs Niteclub & Karaoke. She was the last to leave, after having asked the Nepali security guards to haul two drunks out before locking up the shutter door.

In the dim light, she sees her hubby Darren lying on his side in the water bed. After taking a bubble bath in the ensuite bathroom, she snuggles naked up to him, lust coursing through her veins.

“Darling, I’m back,” she whispers into his ear. “I feel horny after a hot bath. So how about a quickie?” The smell of lavender wafts about in the room.

Darren rubs his eyes and turns around. “Huh? Honey, I’m sleepy. I also have a headache. Another night, okay?”

“This is the fifth time this week you’ve said no.”

“I’ve an early business appointment tomorrow morning. I’ll make it up to you, honey.” He closes his eyes, turns over and starts to snore.

Disappointed, Mummy Lulu stares at the mirror on the ceiling -- installed by her when she and Darren got married -- for a few moments and an idea strikes her. She gets out of bed and goes to the dresser. “I’ll pretend to run away and write him a goodbye note," she mutters under her breath. “That should scare the shit out of him and make him more loving towards me.” She pulls out a note pad from the right-hand drawer and writes in cursive longhand:

Dear Darren

You don’t care for me. You’ve been taking me for granted. I’m a normal woman with healthy sexual desires and high emotional needs, but you don’t pay enough attention to them. Sorry, I’m leaving you for good. By the time you read this letter I will be thousands of miles away.

Sincerely
Lulu


Mummy Lulu tears the note off the pad and leaves it on top of the dresser. She slips into her pajamas, takes a few of her clothes from the closet and hides them. Then she goes to the living room and hides her shoes. Finally, she tip-toes back to the bedroom and crawls under the bed.

Next morning, she hears noises as Darren gets out of bed and staggers to the dresser. There is silence for a few moments. She hears him crumple her handwritten note, tosses it into the waste-basket and talks to someone on his cell phone.

“Hi darling, that old cow has finally left me. She realized that we’re incompatible. Marrying her was my biggest mistake in life. Can I pick you in an hour’s time? Let’s take the first flight to Bali for a vacation. Let’s enjoy the sea, the surf and the sex! I'll bring plenty of condoms! Bye! I love you!”

Feeling like a dagger has stabbed her heart, Mummy Lulu sees Darren’s feet as he sits at the dresser for several moments. Then she hears him getting dressed and stepping out of the bedroom. Tears flowing down her eyes, Mummy Lulu crawls out from underneath the bed. She sees a note on the dresser and reads it:

“You silly woman! I saw your legs sticking out underneath the bed! I’m buying bread from the cafeteria downstairs. Tonight, we will make wild love! I'll send your silk lingerie to the dry cleaner so that you can wear them tonight. Wet kisses. ”

Heat sears through Mummy Lulu's body, bursting through her veins like an explosion of fire. At the thought of Darren's manhood, she gasps, flinching as her womb contracts hungrily, her nipples becoming taut.


[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]

/end


MY LATEST NOVEL



ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Link: monsoonbooks.com.sg
Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).

The book is sold in Europe, Japan and Australia at the following e-retailers:
--amazon.co.uk (UK)
--amazon.fr (France)
--bol.com (The Netherlands)
--bokus.com (Germany)
--adlibris.com (Denmark)
--platekompaniet.no (Norway)
--books-express.ro (Romania)
--nejlevnejsi-khihy.cz (Czechoslovakia)
--kinokuniya.co.jp (Japan)
--booktopia.com.au (Australia)

/end

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Vietnam coffee at Gohtong Jaya has distinct characteristics



At Backerei café in Your Hotel at Gohtong Jaya, you can savour a variety of Vietnamese coffee. I opt for the three-in-one (RM4) which tastes dissimilar from our local version. The aroma is nutty and the taste is delicate and mild. Coffee in packets are also sold. Vietnamese coffee is of the superior coffea Arabica species. Backerei is manned by a Vietnamese lass who speaks accented English.





Saturday, August 9, 2014

Hot Legs Niteclub’s hostess Sapphire teaches Chow Kah how to seduce a woman into bed



[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]

The lift slides to a stop at the car-park floor and its bell dings. An inebriated Chow Kah steps out and staggers to his car. He gets inside the BMW, fires the engine and starts to drive along the corridor between rows of vehicles. As he turns a bend, he sees a girl clad in a red dress, blowing a kiss at him. “Oh boy, this is my lucky night!” he mutters to himself as he pulls the car level with her, and slides the passenger-side power-window down.

The long-haired girl leans towards the open window and smiles. “Can you give me a lift home? I can’t start my car.” Her voice sizzles with vivacity.

Chow Kah grins. “Sure, with pleasure.”

She opens the car door and sidles her 36-inch butt on the seat. Then she swings her killer legs in and pulls the door shut. “Thank you.”

“What’re you doing here so late at night?”

“I work at Hot Legs Niteclub & Karaoke.”

“You do?” Chow Kah arches an eyebrow. “I just came out from there. I’m a regular customer. Odd, I’ve never seen you before.”


“I’m not employed full-time there. I’m a college student. I go there only when I need money. So you’re bound to miss me.” She turns sideways to look at Chow Kah. “You’re a regular customer in Hot Legs? You must like to play women a lot.”

Her forthrightness startles him; he remains silent for a moment and drives up to the parking exit, its bar lowered. “My name’s Ang Chow Kah.” He slides the parking ticket into the machine. “What’s yours, honey?”

“Sapphire. You like to play women, Chow Kah?”

Chow Kah slides the power window up. “To be honest, yes. That’s why I burn so much money in Hot Legs Niteclub.”

“There’re ways to seduce a girl into bed, Chow Kah.” She points to the left with forefinger, its nail varnished pale blue. “Turn at the first left -- my condo’s in Bukit Ceylon. No need to waste money at Hot Legs. I can teach you the techniques to lure a woman into bed.” She turns sideways to glance at him. “First, realize that buying a girl a drink and taking her to a hotel room exists only in movies. To seduce your victim, er—I mean female friend, to bed, you must get close to her, know her well, bond with her.”

“I’d like to know you better, Sapphire. Can you something about yourself?”

“Ah…you’re learning fast! You’re trying to use my first guideline on me. Sorry to disappoint with you, it won’t work with me. So, let me continue. The next step is get naughty with her. Text her messages after work or call her and chit-chat with her. Note her reaction. Does she respond warmly or is she cold towards those phone calls. If she responds well, it is time to get bold. You can now test the water with flirty text messages or sexual innuendoes.”

“Time frame?”


“At least two months in the first step. After that, if she doesn’t distance herself away from you, you can take her to a spot where you and she can be alone together.” She points at the PETRONAS Twin Towers in the distance. “One excellent excuse is to take her to Lake Titiwangsa to show her their reflections in the lake at night. With the car parked in a lonely spot, get into her personal space. Observe how she reacts. If she doesn’t back away, start touching her. Run your fingers lightly over her hand. You get the drift? But don’t go too far. Just build up her sexual tension. Then call it a night. If you or your female friend stays alone, of course, there’re more opportunities to be alone with her. So, the first battle is now won. Continue the nightly phone sex and dirty SMS. But during working hours, just behave normally. Don’t even mention what happened the previous evening. Let her be slightly confused about what your intentions are. And most important, don’t boast about your evening's exploits to any male friend –- such gossip is sure to get back to her. We humans are creatures of habit. When she's used to the light petting, you can proceed to more intimate touching and gradually, she'll be happy to hop into bed with you.”

Chow Kah places his left hand on Sapphire’s lap.

“Why don’t you use both hands?”

“Fondle your lap with both hands?”

“No, drive with both hands, stupid.”

Chow Kah feigns a chuckle and takes his hand from her lap. “Sapphire, do you free-lance?”

She stares ahead at the road. “Do you like me, honey?”

“Yes, I adore you.”

“I’m not in that profession. But I like you too. You’re so kind to give a lift to a stranger. So, I’ll be happy to rock and roll with you without any charges. Only with you.”

A silver thread of droll hangs from the side of Chow Kah’s mouth. “Another stroke of good luck! There’s a motel up ahead.” He pulls the car over to the side of the road.

Half an hour later, while lying in the bed of the motel, Chow Kah calls Mummy Lulu. “Hello, Mummy, why didn’t you tell me you’ve a hostess named Sapphire? Next time, when she goes to Hot Legs, can you inform me? I’d like to book her.” As he speaks, he can hear Sapphire taking a shower in the bathroom.

“Sapphire? You sure?”

“Yes, slightly broad face, sensual lips, long hair. I met her in the car park just now. She’s now prepping herself in the shower to boom-boom with me!”

“Chow Kah, listen carefully. Sapphire worked in Hot Legs three years ago. She got involved with a married man, got pregnant. But he dumped her. She committed suicide by jumping from the car-park floor. She wore red when she died. Her spirit’s powerful during the seventh month. Get out of the room now!”

Chow Kah's scrotum suddenly shrivels; the hair on the back of his neck stands on end. Stark naked, he leaps from the bed and grabs his car key from the side table. Jerking the room door open, he bolts down the corridor, tramps down the staircase two steps at a time and hightails for his car parked on the side of the road.

/end



ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Link: monsoonbooks.com.sg

Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).

The book is sold in Europe, Japan and Australia by the following e-retailers:
--amazon.co.uk (UK)
--amazon.fr (France)
--bol.com (The Netherlands)
--bokus.com (Germany)
--adlibris.com (Denmark)
--platekompaniet.no (Norway)
--books-express.ro (Romania)
--nejlevnejsi-khihy.cz (Czechoslovakia)
--kinokuniya.co.jp (Japan)
--booktopia.com.au (Australia)

ebook version will be available soon.

/end