Sunday, July 13, 2014
Hot Legs Niteclub’s bombshells, Jessica and Wati, and their regular patrons, Chow Kah and Hussein, discuss about – what else? – sexuality during a poolside BBQ
[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
“Hussein, the facilities here are excellent,” I say, spearing a lobster from the grate of the BBQ and placing it on my plate. “This condo belongs to whom?”
Smiling, Hussein bastes the pieces of lamb and chicken and squids on the grate with a brown-coloured sauce. “My fourth wife’s condo. Since she’s gone for her Umrah, I decided to take the opportunity to hold a BBQ here.” He picks up a plate from a nearby mobile cart and transfers some squids to it. “Come let’s join them.”
We walk to the poolside where Jessica (pix above), Wati and Chow Kah are seated at a round table. Jessica and Wati are garbed in bikinis as they want to take a dip in the pool after the BBQ dinner. Chow Kah has on a pair of brown slacks with matching belt and a body-hugging shirt with two buttons undone at the top.
I settle down on a chair beside Chow Kah and ask, “So, what’ve you all been discussing here?”
Jessica pours some Marigold soya bean milk from a cardbox package into her glass. “Chow Kah’s been asking us how we feel about our bodies.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Whether we’re proud of our bodies.”
“Why you want to know, Chow Kah?” asks Wati.
Chow Kah prises off the cap of a bottle of Asahi Premiun Beer. “You first, Wati. You like your body? Proud of it?” He takes a gulp straight from the bottle.
Wati (pix below) sticks her chest out. “My figure's 38-24-34.” She looks coquettishly at Hussein. “It’s a body to die for. Of course I’m proud of it.”
Hussein looks at her chest and mops sweat from his forehead with a piece of Kleenex tissue.
Jessica stabs a piece of fish and dips it in teriyaki sauce. “Me, too. I feel good about my body. I thank God that He gave me big boobs and a sexy butt.”
“What’re you getting at, Chow Kah?” asks Hussein.
Chow Kah rises from his chair, walks to Hussein’s side and whispers into his ear. Husseins’s jaw drops and his eyebrows shoot up. “Really? Woo-hoo!”
I put down my fork and spoon and take a sip of Pepsi. ““Come on, share the joke.”
"It's not a joke, Ewe," says Chow Kah who returns to his chair and announces: “Both you ladies have — I mean will have satisfying sex lives. In other words, your sexuality functioning are healthy.”
"What do you mean?" asks Jessica. "And how did you arrive at the conclusion?"
Leaning down, Chow Kah pulls out a magazine from his bag under the table. “See this? Journal of Sexual Medicine, October 29, 2010 edition.” He flips to a certain page. “A research article titled ‘An assessment of body appreciation and its sexual function to women’ states that a woman’s feelings about her body can affect the arousal, orgasm and satisfaction aspects of her sexual function. ” He lets out a whistle. “Phew! Both you girls will be hot in bed!”
Jessica, her face flushed a deep red, starts to de-shell a prawn. “Where did you get that journal?”
Chow Kah lets out a chuckle. “From your uncle’s clinic," he says. "I told him I’m a close friend of yours.”
“Why, you son of a -– of a sneaky man!”
Leaning sideways, Wati (pix below) pats Hussein’s paunch and say: “Darling, with this beer belly, do you feel proud of your body?”
“My dear, of course not. I’m ashamed of my paunch.”
Jessica starts to chew on her prawn. “What about you, Chow Kah? You’re proud of your body?”
“Nope, I’m too skinny. I’m embarrassed to wear swimming trunks.” He takes another gulp of his beer. “Why you ask?”
Jessica bends sideways and yanks a magazine from her duffel bag on the floor. “This is the October 2013 issue of Psychology of Men & Masculinity.” She flashes a grin. “This research article ‘The relationship among body image, masculinity and sexual satisfaction in men’ concluded that men who have a negative image of their bodies will be dissatisfied in sex!” She giggles and covers her mouth with one hand. “Will also likely to have performance problems!”
Chow Kah slides down in his chair and his ears turn red. “That’s crap!”
“Yes, that’s rubbish,” adds Hussein, almost choking on his food.
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ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).
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ebook version will be available soon.