Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Hot Malay nightclub girl says masturbation is good for you
[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]
“How’s your family, Ling?” asks GRO Wati. “Still taking care of them despite coming here?” She presses a button and a Myanmar waiter brings the menu.
What a humsup [lecherous] waiter. While waiting to take our orders, he stares at Wati’s leopard-spot panty, exposed due to her miniskirt riding up her thighs.
Hussein strokes Wati’s flowing locks gently. “Yes, they are fine. In fact, I’ve been doing a bit of disciplining, too.” He gesticulates to the waiter. “Bintang Bir mixed with tongkat ali.”
“Oh how?’ Wati asks. “Air bandung, please.” The waiter leaves after noting Chow Kah’s and Jessica’s orders, Asahi beer and water-melon juice with kacip fatimah extra strong respectively.
“I caught my son masturbating,” says Hussein. “I went to his study to check on him. I saw him masturbating and watching porn on his laptop at the same time.”
“No need to be harsh on him,” Wati says. “Masturbation can reduce risk of prostate cancer in younger men.”
Chow Kah snuggles his face in Jessica’s neck, inhales her sweet perfume. “Says who?”
“Dr. Graham Giles of Australia’s The Cancer Council. Data compiled by him showed the more frequent younger men ejaculate, the less likely they’ll develop prostate cancer.”
Wati tears a packet of salted nuts, emptying the contents on a plate. “Between the ages of 20 to 50.”
“I don’t know. Get a copy of the British Journal Urology International, August 2003 issue. The whys are explained in his report. Seems that carcinogens are removed through masturbation.”
Chow Kah grins. “I must go to spas more often to have more handjobs. Women masturbating got any benefits ah?”
“Aiyah… why you want to know about women?” Jessica asks. She strokes the back of Chow Kah’s head as if it's a pussy cat.
“Never mind, Jess, I don’t mind telling,”Wati says.
“Er… I guess, women who masturbate find it relaxing. They also communicate better with their partners. How they want their partners to perform. More importantly, it also provides protection against cervical infections.”
“You mean you find it relaxing?” Hussein smiles and pops some salted nuts into his mouth.
“No-lah. That’s what I read on the Internet. End of story."
“Wait, wait, I want to know the why,” I ask.
“Same principle lah. During orgasm, the love juice flushes old bacteria from the cervix.”
“Wah, masturbation so geng [fantastic] ah? Three cheers for masturbation!” Chow Kah toasts with his mug of Asahi beer.
Everyone agrees and shouts: “Hip, hip hooray! Hip, hip hooray! Hip, hip hooray!”