[Pixs of models for illustration only]
Sifu Sabrina’s office door swings open. A sixty-something man (right pix below) enters and sits down in the visitor’s chair across her.
Sabrina (pix above) looks up from her desk. “How can I help you?” She is wearing a strapless top which makes her able to stop traffic in Bukit Bintang.
“I’m Elvis, Sakura Siew’s husband.” He crosses his legs at the ankles. “Sakura’s attracting lots of male admirers. What’s the cause?”
“Yes, I know Sakura, haven’t seen her for a long time, though. Has she slimmed down?”
“Nope. Still the same.” Elvis jabs a button on his mobile and shows the screen to Sabrina. “This is her latest pix, taken in our bedroom.”
“Any painting of threesomes in your bedroom? Like, three ducks, three swans?”
“Any mirror facing the bed?”
“Yes, her dressing mirror faces our bed.”
“That must the cause of men being attracted to her.” Sabrina pulls open a drawer. “Get rid of the mirror, and things will work out fine.” She takes out an apple.
“A mirror’s so powerful?”
Sabrina pulls out a piece of tissue from a box on the table. “Yes, be careful why you place the mirror in your home.” She wipes the apple with the tissue.
“Any tips about mirror placement?"
“Generally, mirrors should be used to reflect anything good and nice.” She bites on the apple (pix above). “Sorry, I skipped lunch and I’m hungry.” A pause. “Bad and ugly things should not be reflected by a mirror. For instance, use a mirror to reflect a cash register to double the money coming in and at the dining table to multiply the quantity of food. A scenic mountain view or beautiful lakeside view can also be reflected to double its beauty so that positive chi can be multiplied.” She takes another bite on the apple. “If a mirror reflects drains, toilets, or a slum, remove it immediately. Also, never use a mirror that has cracks. Looking at the distorted image generates negative chi.” She plucks a piece of tissue and wipes her hands. “When you’ve got rid of Sakura’s admirers, buy her lots of apples to eat.”
“Apples make a woman horny. It’s a scientific fact.” Her lips upturn in a smile. “Then you can enjoy lots of sex with Sakura.”
“Horny?” Elvis’ eyes caress Sabrina from her face to her decolletage. “Er, why are you eating apples?” His eyes twinkle with insidious lechery.
“For health purposes, you idiot! There are other benefits of eating apples! I know what’s on your dirty mind!” She bolts to her feet. “This consultation’s over!”