Saturday, August 22, 2015
Chow Kah picks up a hottie at a fancy restaurant
[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
Sifu Sabrina (pix above), Sakura Siew and I get off our bar stools and saunter to the exit. The tortillas, nachos and chicken wings have been excellent. Ditto for the mocktails and cocktails copiously consumed by us.
“Thanks for the treat.” I smile at Sakura (pix below).
Sabrina presses the lift button and a few moments later, the numeral "8" lights up and the lift doors open. We step into the lift.
“Where did you park, Ewe?”
“We’re also on B3.” Sabrina jabs the “B3” button and the doors close. The smell of ylang ylang from her perfume wafts about inside the lift.
The lift stops on the fourth floor and the doors slide open. In step Chow Kah and a twenty-something woman (pix below) wearing stylized snake ear-rings.
“Hi! Chow Kah! What a small world!”
“Hello, this is my new-found friend Michelle.” Chow Kah grins. “We just met minutes ago in the fusion restaurant. The food’s delicious. She’s taking me for a spin in her Mercedes-Benz sports!”
Michelle jabs the “B1” button and flits her glance among us. I notice Sifu Sabrina scrutinizing her from head to toe.
After I’ve made the introductions between Sakura, Sabrina and Chow Kah, the lift stops at “B1”. Chow Kah wraps an arm around Michelle’s waist and walks out with her. “Bye! I’ll catch up with you later!”
When the lift doors close, Sifu Sabrina suddenly yells, “Stop him! Stop him!”
“Huh?” My jaw drops. “Why?”
“She’s not human!”
“What do you mean?”
“Her feet! Her feet!” Sifu Sabrina screams, and I can see her trying to suppress her hysteria. “Didn’t you see her feet?”
The lift dings, stops at “B3” and the doors open.
“I’m not a feet-man, I’m a boobs-man!”
“Didn’t you notice? When she walks, the heels of her feet don’t touch the floor (pix below)! She’s a ghost! ” Sabrina presses the “Close” and “B1” buttons. “We’ve to stop Mr. Ang from following her! Otherwise he’s dead meat!”
“Eeeeeek!” Sakura’s hand flies to her mouth. “Now I remember! That fusion restaurant on the fourth floor burnt down three years ago! Fourteen people died in the fire!” She clasps her hands together and starts praying silently. “Oh shit! I’m so scared!”
I fumble for my mobile to phone Chow Kah but he does not answer. Seconds later, Sifu Sabrina, Sakura and I are back on the “B1” floor and we exit the lift.
Taking a few steps forward, Sabrina looks around. “Spread out and look for a Mercedes sports!”
“Ewe, I’m trembling!” Sakura is almost in tears. “I’ll stick with you!”
Sifu Sabrina goes to the right and Sakura and I set off to the left. After passing a few rows of cars, I see a silver Mercedes sports.
“Sifu Sabrina! The car’s here! Over here!”
Sabrina patters over in her heels and we stare in horror at the car.
A cold shiver runs down my spine. “Chow Kah’s been possessed! He doesn’t even realize he’s sitting in a paper Mercedes (pix below)!” My pulse pounds in my temples.
“Oh dear!” Sakura cringes behind me and I can hear her teeth chattering! “What shall we do?”
“There’s only one thing I can do.” Sabrina takes off her pendant and chants, “Namo-amitofu! Namo-amitofu! Namo-amitofu!” She flings her pendant at the paper car. “In the name of Chung Kwei, I order you to GO AWAY! RETURN TO HELL!”
POOF! The car disappears into a cloud of white smoke!
“Eeeeeeeek! Obscene!” Sakura’s shriek from behind almost makes my ears ring.
Through the smoke, Chow Kah comes running towards us (right pix below). He’s only wearing his briefs!
Sakura goes to a nearby rubbish bin and returns with a few pieces of old newspaper. “Here, cover yourself with these!” she says to Chow Kah.
“Chow Kah, are you alright?” I ask. “Why’re you half-naked?”
Chow Kah’s face has turned as white as porcelain. “Michelle wanted to have sex with me in the car!” He covers his modesty with the old newspapers. “Then -- then I saw her real face! She looked horrible!”
Sifu Sabrina returns to our spot after having retrieved her pendant.
“Wow, what magical pendant is that?” I reach out my hand. “Can I see it?”
Sifu Sabrina passes Chow Kah’s life-saver to me. “It’s a Chung Kwei pendant. Chung Kwei (bottom pix) is a deity who specializes in catching ghosts and demons.”
“I want to buy one!” Sakura steps forward to look at the pendant. “Where can I get it?” She takes out her hanky from her handbag and mops sweat off her brow.
I return the pendant to Sifu Sabrina who wears it back on her neck. “Go to a store selling feng shui articles -- perhaps one of those amulet retailers in Pudu Plaza may have it.” She starts to walk to the lift lobby. “Everybody, let’s go home, not a good month to be out at night.”
Sakura flicks her gaze at Chow Kah. “Mr. Ang, that fourth-floor restaurant burnt down a long time ago! The premise is still unoccupied. No takers because it is believed to be haunted.”
“What! I didn’t know!” Chow Kah’s eyes widen in shock. “But—but when I got off the lift, I found it still operating at the end of the corridor!"
Sifu Sabrina wags her finger at Chow Kah. “Your luck’s very bad, Mr. Ang. I’d advise you to wear a Chung Kwei pendant!”