Saturday, April 4, 2015

PE can cause breakups in relationships, warns Jessica

[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]

Jessica (pix above) takes a sip of her strawberry juice and puts the glass down. “Any one of you men suffering from PE?” She licks the stains away and wipes the corners of her mouth with a Kleenex.

“What’s PE?” Hussein asks, flicking the pages of a song menu.

Wati (pix below), garbed in a tank top, looks at Jessica. “Is it Physical Education?” Her cleavage is nearly spilling out of the neckline; her hair is tied into two pony tails at the sides.


Jessica crosses her knees, revealing the creamy expanse of her thighs. “Premature ejaculation.”

Chow Kah grabs a few nuts from the plate on the coffee table. “Why suddenly you raise this topic?” He starts to nibble them.

“If the answer is yes, get it cured, otherwise you'll have relationship problem with your wife or girlfriend."

I ask, “How do you mean?”

“I read a research article in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. It’s the September 2014, Volume 11, Issue 9. The title is 'Female Partner’s Perception of Premature Ejaculation and its impact on Relationship Breakup, Relationship Quality and Sexual Satisfaction'.”

“How was the research conducted?” Wati asks, leaning towards Hussein, their hips touching.

“Women totaling 1,463 from Mexico, Italy and South Korea were surveyed using questionnaires. Forty-seven percent of the women cited mediocre performance as the source of their sexual dissatisfaction; forty percent were unhappy because of PE and twenty-four percent indicated 'lack of ejaculatory control' as the reason for their sexual distress. Now hear this!" She raises her voice. "A whopping 22.8 % of the women reported that they broke up with their former partners because of PE!”

"Holy Toledo!" Chow Kah exclaims. "Women from those countries give so much priority to sex?" He scratches his head."Maybe Malaysian women are different."

I cast a side glance at Chow Kah. “Any herbs that can help treat PE?”

Dong quai and ginseng,” Chow Kah says.

“With GST,” Jessica cuts in, “a cheaper alternative is to do kegel exercises.”

Hussein raises a thumb-up. “Good idea, but if that doesn’t work, get a de-sensitizing spray.” He snaps the song menu shut and tosses it aside.

Chow Kah takes a long draw from his mug and puts it down. “Also under GST, isn't it?"

“From pharmacy, yes; from a road-side seller in Haji Taib, no.” Hussein chuckles. “I know because I’ve bought from Haji Taib before.”

Chow Kah shakes his head. “Christ! Cost of having sex has gone up!” He wags his forefinger. “So have the costs of dying and even going to the toilet.”

Jessica’s eyes glint with revenge. “We’ll teach BN a lesson when the next General Election comes.”

Everyone in the karaoke room raises their fists. “Yes! Of course!”


No comments: