Sunday, September 7, 2014
Jessica and Wati of Hot Legs Niteclub discuss the benefits of wearing boxers compared to briefs
[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
The “Gang of Four” of Hot Legs Niteclub & Karaoke and yours truly are sitting outside a steamboat restaurant in Jalan Alor. The steam from the hot pot in the centre of the aluminum table smells tantalizing.
“Hussein, what size boxers do you wear?” asks Wati (pix above), pouring more Bir Bintang into his mug.
I see Chow Kah and Jessica, both seated across me, busy chewing their cuttlefish and water spinach.
Hussein takes a deep swallow from his mug and says, “Eh? How do you know I wear boxers?”
Wati retrieves her stick of prawns from the hot pot and lays it on the plate in front of her. “You tried that king pigeon pose, remember? Your pants ripped at the crotch and your red polka dot boxers got exposed.”
“Yeah, I remember now. My boxers size is L.” Hussein dips a stick of cockles into the hot pot. “Why you want to know?”
“Your birthday’s coming, rite? I want to buy you two pairs of boxers: birthday presents.”
Hussein picks a skewer of fish balls and starts to eat them. “Thank you, darling.”
Jessicca (pix below) gently nudges Chow with her elbow. “Hey, Chow Kah, what about you? You wear briefs or boxers”
“Boxers!” Chow Kah says with is mouth full, sitting up straight. “I want to maintain my sperm count.”
“That’s nonsense,” Jessica retorts. “Wearing briefs does not diminish your sperm supply.” She glances from Chow Kah to everyone at the table. “Listen, everybody. In 1993, Cairo University conducted a research using three groups of dogs. The first group did not wear underwear, the second group wore cotton underwear, the third wore polyester underwear. After 24 months, the sperm count of all three groups were determined. There was no significant change in sperm count for the dogs clad in cotton underwear. However, the polyester underwear dogs showed a significant decrease in sperm count. So, the fabric was the culprit for reasons unknown.” She peers into the hot pot. “I wonder if my tofu is cooked.”
“No kidding, Jess?” I ask.
Jessica looks up from the hot pot. “Yes, check out Urological Research, September 1993 issue. Wait, there’s more, the experiment was continued for another 12 months. The polyester underwear were removed from the dogs. Guess what? Their sperm levels returned to normal.”
I look from Jessica to Wati. “Which is sexier? Briefs or boxers?”
“Definitely briefs,” Wati says. “A man who wears boxers can’t wear well-cut pants. Boxers don’t conceal well. A crumpled boxers can be seen beneath the fabric of the pants.”
“Briefs don’t come in white alone these days,” Jessica adds. “Many imported brands come in snazzy designs.”
Chow Kah puts down an empty skewer in front of him. “Can you name a few brands?” He lifts his mug of Asahi beer to his mouth and takes a sip.
Jessica smiles. “Hugo Boss!”
Wati snaps her fingers. “Clever Moda!”
Jessica lifts a stick of chicken meat from the hot pot and puts it on Chow Kah’s plate. “John Gallinao!”
“Sheesh!” exclaims Chow Kah. “Those are expensive brands.”
“Yes, A pair of John Gallinao briefs cost from one hundred and fifty onward.You can buy them online.”
“Girls, any other advantages of wearing briefs?” I ask.
“Yes, a man wearing boxers can’t ride a scrambler or a mountain bike over a dirt track. Wearing boxers to play sports is a big no-no. The two amigos are at risk of injury.”
Hussein raises his eyebrows. “Two amigos?”
“Testicles,” Jessica says, giggling.
“That's scary!" exclaims Chow Kah. "Hussein, let’s go shop for briefs afterwards!”
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