Mummy Lulu of Hot Legs Niteclub advises Mor Sai on how to register his marriage with his China-doll girlfriend

[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]

Ang Mor Sai, Chow Kah’s father, raps the door of Mummy Lulu’s room. Through the glass panel of the door, he sees the mamasan waving her hand. The white-haired geezer enters, flashes a smile and sits down at Mummy Lulu's desk. “Good evening, Mummy. I need your advice,” he says.

Mummy Lulu leans forward and rests her elbows on the desk. “Yes, how can I help you, Mr. Ang?”

“It’s regarding your one of the PRC GROs.”

“We’ve six China dolls. Who? What about her?”

“I’m in love with her. I want to marry her!"

“Really? She’s such a lucky gal to have a dirty old man -– I mean a handsome old man interested in marrying her!”

“Thank you for the compliment. So what’s the procedure?”

Mummy Lulu pulls out a pen and a sheet of A4 paper from a drawer and places them in front of Mor Sai. “Okay, please take down what I’m going to say,” she says. "The procedures are a bit complicated.”

Mor Sai grabs the pen and looks down at the paper. “Okay, I’m ready. Fire away.”

Mummy Lulu (right pix) leans back on her swivel chair. “First, you need to go to the Marriage and Divorce division of the National Registration Department -- Level 1 -- in Putrajaya,” she says. “Get a form to apply for a Single Status Letter. Fill up the form and get it sworn at the nearest Commissioner of Oaths. Get back to Level 1 and hand the certified form with your IC and pay five ringgit. You will be issued with the Single Status Letter.

“Next, you have to go to the Consular Department of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to get the Single Status Letter endorsed. You need to pay ten ringgit for the endorsement which is valid for five months. Then, get this endorsed Single Status Letter translated at the National Translation Institute or any certified translator. The translated Single Status Letter has to be endorsed by the Secretariat of the Translator Association of Malaysia in Jalan Maharajalela. Next step, return to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to get the translated copy endorsed. Ten ringgit has to be paid.”

“Wow, so troublesome ah?”

“Yes, there’s more. Now, go to the China Embassy with all your documents, including photocopy of IC. You will be given a Bank of China bank-in slip to deposit one hundred and sixty ringgit into their account as payment. The embassy will endorse all your documents and return them to you. After that you are ready to fly to China to get registered.”

“The first thing you need to do is to take a wedding photograph and get your passport translated. The wedding photograph consists of you and your wife-to-be against a red backdrop. This is mandatory. Then go to the nearest China Registration Department, hand over to the officer all your documents. Fill in a form and sign it, and he will issue you a Marriage Booklet. Now you and she are legally married.

“To get your marriage registered in Malaysia, get the China Marriage Booklet translated in Malaysia, and have the translated copy sworn at a Commissioner of Oaths. Now go to the National Registration Department in Putrajaya with the following documents. Malaysian IC, original and photocopy; your China doll’s IC, original and photocopy, as well as Passport Immigration Stamp, original and photocopy; China Marriage Booklet, translated and original copies. Ask for Form JPN KC06 and paste your China doll’s and your separate passport-sized photos on the form. Pass all documents and the completed form to the correct counter. When the clerk checks that all documents are in order, you need to pay twenty ringgit. She will give you a number to wait your turn. You will be called inside a room where you and your China doll will sign the Marriage Certificate in front of an officer. Ooh-la-la! You and she are officially married! There's no need to bring friends or relatives as witnesses.”

“Can I go to any National Registration Department office in Kuala Lumpur?”

“You can but I recommend Putrajaya as it is more convenient because there is a Commissioner of Oaths in the building and also a stationery store to photostat your documents, if necessary.”

“I see. Thank you so much, Mummy.”

“You’re welcome. May I know who the lucky girl is? I want to congratulate her.”

"Guess."

"Is she Catherine (top pix?)?"

"Nope."

"Our leng looi, Xiao Qing (centre pix)?"

"No."

Mummy Lulu scratches her head. "Suzy, the sex bomb (right pix above)?"

Mor Sai shakes his head and smiles. “My wife-to-be is Mongmong (pix below),” he says.

Mummy Lulu’s jaw drops.

/end

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Published by Monsoon Books, Singapore. Sold in Malaysia at Kinokuniya, Popular Book Store, Borders and MPH nationwide. An e-book edition is also available. Please check out monsoonbooks.com.sg