[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
“Jessica, can we be more than friends – I mean boyfriend and girlfriend?” Chow Kah asks.
“No. You’re strictly my customer,” Jessica [right pix ] says, smiling.
Chow Kah gulps a mouthful of Sapporo beer. “Why not? I’ve been your regular customer for so long.”
“You’ve all the signs of male infidelity. Even if we become lovers, you’ll continue to cheat on me, just like you’re cheating on your wife!”
She holds up Chow Kah’s right hand and says to everyone in the room: “See? His ring finger is longer than his index finger.”
I, Hussein and Wati [pix below], sitting opposite Jessica and Chow Kah, look at the latter’s hand, fingers spread apart.
“So what?” I say. "What does that indicate?"
“Men with long ring fingers have very high testosterone levels, their sex drives are greater, that’s why they’re likely to be cheats!”
Hussein, grinning like a villain in a movie, holds both hands behind his back to prevent Wati from seeing them.
“You also like to gamble, rite?” Jessica asks, adjusting a bra strap.
“Yup, Toto and Da Ma Cai and gin rummy and blackjack and poker.”
“Yeah, men who’re thrill-seekers are more likely to b involved in extra-marital affairs,” Wati says. “I read that somewhere on the Internet.”
“Thrill-seekers like to chase women,” Jessica says. She slips off her four-inch heeled shoes and crosses her feet at the ankles. “Another bizarre sign of the cheating gene is that he likes to watch horror movies!”
“The magazine Psychology Today also mentioned that a tall man is more likely to cheat,” Wati says, and Hussein, steated beside her, hunches himself so as to appear shorter.
“Any more giveaway signs?” I ask, smiling at Hussein.
“A man who rolls over and sleeps after sex is more likely to have an affair,” Jessica says. "They have difficulty bonding with women."
“Come on, all this talk is rubbish,” Chow Kah says. He takes a tooth-pick, spears a slice of Washington apple and brings it to his mouth.
Suddenly, the door is rapped from the outside. In steps Mor Sai, Chow Kah’s father. Wearing a Z Homme long-sleeved, polka-print shirt, he is six feet tall, half-bald and has a China-doll GRO [pix below] in tow. Her 36-24-38 figure is bursting at the seams in her floral tube dress. Saliva dribbles from the corners of the mouths of Chow Kah and Hussein.
“Hey, son, I saw your car parked outside. I’m here to take Qingqing out for dinner -- Ah Yat Abalone. Then for a Cantonese horror movie. You want to join us for dinner?"
“Mr Ang, show me your right hand please,” Wati asks, straightening up in the settee.
Mor Sai extends his right hand. “Here, why? Anything wrong with my hand?” His left arm is wrapped around the slender waist of Qingqing.
“I just want to admire see your Ruby wedding ring,” Wati says.
Chow Kah stares at his father’s hand and gasps: “Papa! Your ring finger’s the same as mine! It’s so much longer than the index finger.”
“See! I told you so!” exclaims Jessica, wagging her forefinger at Chow Kah.
I say: “The same applies to women in a converse manner, right?”
“Aha! Show me your fingers!” Chow Kah snaps to Jessica.
Giggling, she folds her arms and leans back on the settee, while Hussein, smirking, holds Wati's hands and studies them.
Mor Sai and Qingqing look quizzically at each other.
Published by Monsoon Books, Singapore. Sold in Malaysia at Kinokuniya, Popular Book Store, Borders and MPH nationwide. An e-book edition is also available.