Monday, February 18, 2013
Hot Legs Niteclub’s Jessica reveals several signs of male infidelity
[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
“Jessica, can we be more than friends – I mean boyfriend and girlfriend?” Chow Kah asks, his lips upturned in a warm smile.
“No. You’re strictly my customer,” Jessica [pix above] says, eyes gazing at Chow Kah intently.
Chow Kah gulps a mouthful of Sapporo beer. “Why not? I’ve been your regular customer for so long.”
“You’ve all the signs of male infidelity. Even if we become lovers, you’ll continue to cheat on me, just like you’re cheating on your wife!”
Jessica holds up Chow Kah’s right hand and says to everyone in the room: “See? His ring finger is longer than his index finger.”
I, Hussein and Wati [pix below], seated opposite Jessica and Chow Kah, look at Chow's Kah's hand, fingers spread apart.
“So what?” I say. "What does that indicate?"
“Men with long ring fingers have very high testosterone levels," Jessica explains, "their sex drives are greater, that’s why they’re likely to be cheats!”
Hussein, grinning like a villain in a movie, holds both hands behind his back to prevent Wati from seeing them.
“You also like to gamble, rite?” Jessica asks Chow Kah, adjusting a bra strap.
“Yup, Toto and Da Ma Cai and gin rummy and blackjack and poker.”
“Yeah, men who’re thrill-seekers are more likely to be involved in extra-marital affairs,” Wati says. “I read that somewhere on the Internet.”
“Thrill-seekers like to chase women,” Jessica says. She slips off her four-inch heeled shoes and crosses her feet at the ankles. “Another bizarre sign of the cheating gene is that he likes to watch horror movies!”
“The magazine Psychology Today also mentioned that a tall man is more likely to cheat,” Wati adds, and Hussein, sitting beside her, hunches himself so as to appear shorter.
“Any more giveaway signs?” I ask, smiling at Hussein.
Jessica spits out a water-melon shell. “A man who rolls over and sleeps after sex is more likely to have an affair.” She grabs a handful of water melon seeds from the platter. "They've difficulty bonding with women."
“Come on, all this talk is rubbish,” Chow Kah says. He takes a tooth-pick, spears a slice of Washington apple and brings it to his mouth.
Suddenly, the door is rapped from the outside. In steps Mor Sai, Chow Kah’s father. Wearing a Z Homme long-sleeved, polka-print shirt, he is six feet tall, half-bald and has a China-doll GRO [left pix below] in tow. Her 36-24-38 figure is bursting at the seams in her floral tube dress. Saliva dribbles from the corner of Chow Kah's mouth.
“Hey, son, I saw your car parked outside," Mor Sai says. "I’m here to take Qingqing out for dinner -- Ah Yat Abalone. Then for a Cantonese horror movie. You want to join us for dinner?"
“Mr Ang, show me your right hand please,” Wati asks, straightening up.
Mor Sai extends his right hand. “Here, why? Anything wrong with my hand?” His left arm is wrapped around the slender waist of Qingqing.
“I just want to admire see your ruby wedding ring,” Wati says, winking conspiratorially at me.
Chow Kah stares at his father’s hand and gasps: “Papa! Your ring finger’s the same as mine! It’s so much longer than the index finger.”
“See! I told you so!” exclaims Jessica, wagging her forefinger at Chow Kah.
I say, “The same applies to women in a converse manner, right?”
“Aha! Show me your fingers!” Chow Kah snaps to Jessica. "They can indicate whether you're highly sexed."
Giggling, Jessica folds her arms and leans back on the settee, while Hussein, smirking, holds Wati's hands and studies them.
"Fuyoh!" Hussein exclaims to Wati. "You don't need to drink kacip fatimah!"
Mor Sai and Qingqing look quizzically at each other. "What's going?" Mor Sai asks.
Published by Monsoon Books, Singapore. Sold in Malaysia at Kinokuniya, Popular Book Store, Borders and MPH nationwide. An e-book edition is also available.