Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Nightclub hostess Jessica warns female cyclists of their handlebar position

[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]

“Something’s wrong with my wife. Of late, she’s frigid,” Chow Kah says, scratching his head. "Dunno what's the cause."

“Give her Kacip Fatimah,” Jessica says, popping a tortilla chip into her mouth.

“I’ve been feeding her five capsules every night. No effect.”

She wipes away sauce on her upper lip with a piece of Kleenex tissue. “Any change in her lifestyle?”

Chow Kah wraps an arm around her waist. “Food we eat is more or less the same. Only thing is she exercises more. She bought a sports bicycle three months ago. Every evening, she cycles for an hour before eating dinner with me.”

“I know what’s wrong!” Jessica says. “It’s the bicycle!”

“I remember Wati said a high saddle can cause impotency in men,” I say, sipping my milk shake.

“That’s right. Dr. Marsha Guess of Yale University School of Medicine has found that the handlebar position may affect a female cyclist’s sexual health.”

“You read the article in a medical journal again?” I ask.

“Yes, the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Dr. Guess said sexual dysfunction can occur if there’s excessive pressure on the genital area. Tell you what, Chow Kah. Go home and examine your wife’s bicycle, especially the position of the handlebar. If the position is not right, it has been putting pressure on the area you like most.”

“Golly! Bicycles should be banned!” I say.

Chow Kah adds: “Yes, also avoid marrying a girl who’s been cycling to school when she was a student.”

“Come on, that's extrapolating a bit too far," I say. Then to Jessica: "Did you cycle to school?”

She beams proudly. “Nope, I travelled by school bus. I’m sexually healthy.”

With a lecherous glint in his eyes, Chow Kah licks his lips.


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