Friday, May 18, 2012

Nightclub Mamasan says anti-oxidants can treat E.D and infertility

[Pix of models for illustration purpose only]

Lounging away in the VIP Room of Hot Legs Nightclub & Karaoke in Bukit Bintang, Chow Kah, Hussein and I are taking a break, having sung our throats dry. Jessica and Wati, the joint’s hottest GROs, are drained of energy as well.

Empty bottles of Sapporo Beer and Bintang Beer stand on the coffee table. The carpet is littered with water melon shells and Menglembu groundnut shells.

Bursting at the seams of her cheongsam in her 36-24-38 figure, Jessica says: “Next time, please don’t put the mikes so close to your mouth.” She pulls out a wet tissue and wipes the microphones. “You all spray your saliva there. It’s unhygienic.” She follows up by wiping them with dry Kleenex tissues.

“Sorry,” Chow Kah says. “I guess I’m the culprit as I sing the loudest.” He burps, releasing the odour of Sapporo Beer. “Ooops, sorry again.”

“Let’s order some fruits,” I suggest. “I also need a fruit juice.” I clutch playfully at my throat. “I’m dying of thirst.”

“There’s a new item on the menu,” says Jessica, pointing with her forefinger. “There.”

“Anti-E.D. Salad?”

“Consists of?” Chow Kah asks.

“Pomegranate, sliced broccoli and carrots,” Wati explains. “They come with Thousand Island dressing.” Wearing kebaya with a top that exposes her black brassiere, she playfully curls some strands of hair around her finger. Hussein, seated beside Wati, gently grips the finger.

He drains his mug empty of Bintang Beer with his other hand. “Halal or not?” he asks. “I mean the dressing.” Wati chuckles at the irony of his question.

A brisk tattoo sounded on the door and Mamasan Lulu enters. She’s garbed in a pant suit and a black jacket. Traces of her former beauty still linger in her narrow waist and wide hips and butt.

“Sorry to interrupt, gentleman," she says and smiles. “Please give me five minutes to explain our latest salad.

“From Internet research, I’ve found that scientists from Oregon State University and the Madrid Institute for Advanced Studies have discovered that free radicals disrupt release of nitric oxide in the body. This neurotransmitter –- don’t ask me what it means -- relaxes blood vessels, which helps men to achieve erections. Therefore, by taking greens packed with anti-oxidants, you’ll reduce free radicals.

“Our customers drink a lot. Actually, it's no good for the libido. As a responsible corporate citizen, we should take care of them. Therefore, I told our G.M. to introduce this Anti-E.D. Salad.”

“Please allow me to interrupt,” Chow Kah says. “Charity begins at home. The management should also take care of its staff. There should also be salads beneficial for women’s health. Your GROs are also drinking.”

“No worry,” says Mamasan Lulu. “The Anti-E.D. salad also helps to enhance a woman's fertility."

“We want two plates each!” Jessica and Wati yell. "The person who made the suggestion will buy for us!"

"Haah?" Recoiling in his seat, Chow Kah cringes as each plate costs RM30++.

"Never mind," Hussein consoles him: "Next time, when you marry Jessica, she'll give you many healthy children."


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