[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
The air-conditioner blew full blast in the karaoke room that my buddies and I were occupying with Jessica and Wati, two young GROs who were our regular sing-song partners. The cold air was necessary as every man would feel sizzling hot in the company of these sexpots – they’re the “red numbers” in Hot Legs Karaoke in Kuala Lumpur's Bukit Bintang.
“Read the latest Hollywood news? Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy, is getting married!” uttered Chow Kah. “This time to a 24-year old centre-fold model, Crystal Harris. This hum sup rascal is 84 years old already!”
Hussein grinned: “Syabas! He beat Taib Mahmud’s achievement. Hefner is 60 years older than his wife; Taib is only 35 years older.”
“Eeeeek! Such men are simply D-O-M!” said Wati. Seated beside Hussein, she began cracking groundnuts for him.
Chow Kah said: “Aiyah…don’t call them D-O-M, call them Romeos!”
“What’s D-O-M?” I asked, seated alone.
Wati explained: “Dirty old man! This also, you don’t know?”
“I’m not so well read as you are, Wati.”
Hussein popped some nuts into his mouth. “These gurls are only after money!”
“Not exactly; older men are more considerate,” chipped in Jessica. She crossed her legs, exposing milky thighs without stockings, and leaned back. “They don’t show their temper and are more accommodating to their young wives.” Chow Kah was aroused and put an arm over her shoulder.
“You’re single, Jess, so how do you know?” I asked.
“In my profession, I’ve met all types of men. The younger ones are more boastful and arrogant. They think by booking our time for four hours, they can do anything they want, like trying to grope us. Sometimes, they try to force us to drink brandy or whisky -- just like in the movies.
“I reckon, in their minds, they want us to get drunk; become helpless and even unable to walk; then they send us back to our apartment, then when we wake up, we are naked in bed! Stupid, wishful, immature thinking!”
“Yes, it’s true, generally, older men are more stable in all departments; financially, emotionally and mentally,” said Wati. “Once, a fortyish customer asked me politely whether he could hold my hand while doing a duet with me. I was impressed with his gracious manners.“
Hussein started fiddling some buttons on the karaoke remote control. “Nowadays, with Viagra and Cialis and Tongkat Ali, I guess sex life with an old husband is normal for the young wife."
Jessica looked at me. “Would you marry a rich old woman?” She took a fried chicken wing and began munching away.
“Nope,” I said, shaking my head.
Wati teased: “When the lights are switched off during love-making, everything is the same as doing it with an awek muda. Use your imagination! Think of a sexy model, and pretend it’s her you’re enjoying it with. You know -- mind over matter!”
“That’s only part of the issue,” I explained. “Do you know that the risk of giving birth to a child with autism or Mongolism is much higher in older woman? Also, after menopause, a woman cannot bear children any more. So, what kind of marriage is that if your wife can’t give you children. There’s no emotional bond.”
“Have you all heard the story about the salesman who stopped overnight at a farmer’s house?” asked Hussein.
“Tell us,” I said.
“Aziz, a supplier of Tongkat Ali and Kacip Fatimah, was passing through a kampong,” said Hussein. “His car had broken down late in the evening, and he went to a farmer’s house for assistance. The Pakcik was extremely hospitable and asked Aziz to spend the night. The farmer’s daughter served him some rendang and rice, and their eyes met. They both smiled at each other. Aziz concluded that the nubile maiden was willing and able. A plan hatched in his mind.
“The next morning, Aziz awoke to the crying of the household members. He asked the farmer what had happened. The Pakcik explained that his 70-year old mother had died. There was a smile on her face and a fifty-ringgit note in her hand.”
Laughter exploded in the room. Half giggling, Jessica asked: “Moral of the story?”
“Marry a rich, old widow or divorcee. Everyday, give it to her as many times as possible! And you will inherit her money very quickly.”
/end
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