Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Hunk's Achilles' heel exposed

As it had been a gruelling day in the office, I went to my favourite bar for some beer and cheer. It's a Japanese lounge housed in a converted bungalow in Jalan Ampang, KL.

After I had settled on a bar stool, Lily, the barmaid asked: "Wanna try my latest cocktail? It's called Wild Passion."

"Wild Passion eh? What's it made of?"

"Sorry, I can't tell. The receipe's a secret," said Lily.

"No, thanks. Gimme Asashi beer then."

Lily winked. "Come on, be a sport. Many of my customers say it's an aphrodisiac."

"Excuse me, Miss, I think the use of aphrodisiac is not good for one's body in the long run," said a voice beside me which was like that of a newcaster's.

The owner of the voice was a handsome fella seated at my side, who could have passed himself off as a model for men's-briefs advertisements found in foreign magazines. "Hello, I'm Eddy," he said. "Sorry to butt in your chit-chat. But I think the key to a better sex life is through proper nutrition and exercise. Taking Vitamin E and zinc does help, though."

"You seem to know a lot about nutrition," I said.

"Yes, I do," said Eddy, taking a long draw from his mug. "I have a degree in nutrition. I also run a fitness centre. In my line of business, I've to be fit and strong to be a role model to my members."

At that moment, the mamasan of the lounge sauntered to the bar with the prettiest GRO in tow. "Hello, young man," said the mamasan to Eddy. "This is Siao Ling. Would you like her to keep you company now that she's not engaged?"

Siao Ling fluttered her eyelashes. Eddy was pleased. "Why, of course. But let me make a few phone calls first." He telephoned two girls on his mobile to cancel his dates with them. "Having too many girlfriends can be a problem," he boasted. "Come, Siao Ling, let's order something to eat and we can do a duet in the karaoke room afterwards."

"Wow.. what a handsome hunk!" uttered Lily.

After several beers, I called it a night. While climbing the staircase to my room, i slipped and fell, spraining my wrist. It wasn't anything serious and I slept well.

However, the next morning, I decided that a spot of massage would help my wrist to recuperate, so I went to a traditional masseur whose therapy centre was in Kampong Baru. While waiting for my turn, a man whom I recognised immediately came out. It was Eddy!

"Why, it's you again," I asked. "What're you doing here?"

"Nothing; nothing actually." He tried to put on a smile.

I went into the consultation room. After having told the masseur of my sprained wrist, I asked: "Pakcik, that man who was here before me is a friend. What's his problem?'

"He comes here regularly," said the white-haired masseur. "He's undergoing urut batin (genital massage) for impotency."


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