“This is one of the worst cases of bad feng shui I’ve ever seen,” groans Sifu Sabrina

 

“Look at this photo.” Sifu Sabrina holds up a print with her manicured thumb and forefinger. “The client wanted a consultation on Skype after sending me photos of different parts of his single-storey bungalow in JB. This pix shows the garage.  A side door from the garage leads to the living room. There’s also a main door in front. The garage’s cluttered with trash and shoes on racks, including a washing machine.” The female sifu shakes her head, her long tresses quivering along with the movement. “No wonder the owner’s facing bickering with partners, back-stabbing by staff, and quarrels with wifey.” 

“Remedy?” I ask, craning my neck forward for a closer look.

“Put rubbish in a store room. In this case, at least install closets  so that all trash is concealed. And the washing machine that promotes disharmony because of its vicious spin cycle should be shifted to another spot. Other actions can also be taken” — the feng shui doll cracks a wry grin— “but I won't reveal them or I'll go out of business. Remember, always keep a place uncluttered.”

/end 

Two auspicious objects that are not auspicious at the front door, according to Sifu Sabrina

 

“Here’re two quickie tips,” Sifu Sabrina says, her butt squashing the cushion of an ottoman. “First, Cai Sen’s image, the God of Wealth, should not embellish the front door of one’s residence. You’re directing wealth luck away, sending it to your visitors."

Second, a door mat with auspicious couplets relating to wealth, health and luck should also never be displayed at the front door. Every day, you’re stepping on those words, smearing them with bad chi. How can good vibes be invoked with daily trampling? Don’t ever buy such mats. Manufacturers of such mats know nothing about feng shui! Auspicious posters hung on walls will do a better job.”

/end

“Be wary of the dark side of orchids in feng shui under different circumstances,” advises Sifu Sabrina

Holding the arms of her rosewood chair, Sifu Sabrina hoists herself up and throws her head back. The hem of her dress rides upward, exposing her panties. “Now, what was it that I wanted to mention to you?” Her almond eyes veil themselves for a few beats, and unveil. “Err, something about orchids.” Her hair rumples over her smooth shoulders and her breasts, hips and legs co-star to form an irresistible ensemble. Turning to me, she yanks the hem of her dress down to cover her panties. "Sorry about my wardrobe malfunction," she mutters, a shade of rose colouring her cheeks. 

Slumped in an armchair opposite her, my gaze rakes her from her tinted-lidded eyes down to her fish-net stockings and back up to her smooth face again. “Auspicious flowers, remember?”

My words jostle the memory of the feng shui sifu. “Oh, yes, previously, I included orchids as auspicious flowers to display at home for good luck, growth and harmony.” Her cupid-bow lips settle into a grim line. “Now, I wanna point out the dark side of orchids under different circumstances.” Sifu Sabrina screws her face in a serious frown. “I'm against putting orchids at the front door. Why? First, orchids are categorized as shadowy flowers or yum far. They don’t emit scent at night, but they’re a close cousin of night-scented flowers like jasmine, white magnolia and white kemboja. These blooms have a proclivity to attract spirits—can be benevolent or malevolent—to reside in them. Incidentally, you've ever wondered why Muslim cemeteries are often planted with night-blooming plants? Now, back to orchids. Spirits can’t enter a home to reside in the orchids inside because of the Door Gods and the deities’ presence at the altar.

The female sifu’s eyes thin as she gives  a gentle shake of her head. “But not for orchids placed outside the front door. The blooms may remain harmless, of course, but if a passing-by spirit wants to take up residence, there's nothing to stop it from doing so. Another little-known fact about orchids is that they’re ‘feminine’ flowers. Powerful feminine vibes outside the main door can lure the man of the household away and never return. In short, abandon his family for another woman. So, avoid orchids at the front door.”    

/end

Another version of the role of sugar cane in Pai Thee Kong ceremony, according to Sifu Sabrina

There’re few versions of the folklore why Fujians pray with sugar cane to the Jade Emperor,” says Sifu Sabrina. “One account says Fujians fleeing from marauding Mongols in ancient times hid in a sugarcane plantation. Despite a few days’ search, the Mongols couldn’t find them and the Fujians emerged safely on the 9^th day of the 1^st lunar month, which coincided with the birthday of the Jade Emperor. Thus, thanksgiving payers were offered to the Jade Emperor on this day. Another version says Japanese pirates pursued the Fujians instead.  A third folklore--which Mummy Lulu told me when I attended her after-Pai Thee Kong feast at midnight--describes the Fujians as  farmers-turned-warriors when they cut sugar cane stalks in a plantation and improvised them into spears, long poles and billy sticks!  Using the sugar-cane weapons, they whacked the Mongols, driving them off! Whoa!” 

A grin hovering on her lips, Sifu Sabrina chews on her little finger. “You expect me to believe this sugar-cane weapon story by Mummy Lulu?”  A chuckle escapes from her delicate throat.

/end

“Prepare to receive Li Chun energy on February 4, 2023,” reminds Sifu Sabrina

 

“The Beginning of Spring or Li Chun will start on February 4, 2023 at 10.42 am,” says Sifu Sabrina, “not the first day of CNY.” She rests one fish-net stockinged leg on the arm of her rosewood chair. “From the feng shui aspect, we can receive the Li Chun energy. The ritual is simple, should be performed between 10.42 am to 12 noon. Set up an altar facing south and offer fruits, nian gao and tea. Light three joss sticks and utter 'Welcome Li Chun' to this house, giving your full address, your name and birthdate. Request for health, wealth and whatever you wish for.” With lips kinked in an afterthought, Sifu Sabrina’s eyelashes flip up. “Also, don’t forget to deposit money in an ATM at the bank. There’re bank websites giving auspicious times to do this based on your Zodiac animal sign.” The bombshell’s eyes gleam with a sparkle. “I wish you a prosperous Water Rabbit Year!”   

“Don’t mess around with the Kitchen God,” Sifu Sabrina warns. “He can affect your life span!"

The air in the corridor to Sifu Sabrina’s condo smells of Dettol as I traipse along its marbled floor between spotless white-washed walls.  My cell phone in my shirt pocket buzzes with a text message. I read it: The door’s unlocked. I’m in the kitchen. A packet of bakkwa dangling from one hand, I pass a few doors decorated with red Chinese New Year posters before reaching Sifu Sabrina’s unit. I enter the living room, kick off my loafers and push them to the side of a shoe rack.

“Hello…” I cross the living room to the dining area. “What’s the fever in the kitchen?” I plonk my plastic bag of bakkwa on the dining table and enter the kitchen. Whoa! Sifu Sabrina has one leg high on the countertop. “Gosh! What’re you doing?” My eyes span wider, and my cheeks flame hot.

“A cockroach! A cockroach came crawling near my feet!” Sifu Sabrina tosses her gaze to the bottom of the fridge across the room. “Never mind, it’s now under the fridge. I’ll spray insecticide afterward.” She picks up a frying pan from a wall cabinet and moves to the gas cooker. “We’ll talk as I do my cooking.” The frying pan lands on the gas hob with a soft thud.

“Your bakkwa’s on the dining table.” Taking a step forward, I see a colander filled with several heads of broccoli on the countertop. “One kilogram, Loong Kee. I was also at Oloiya, got Guinness-flavored bakkwa. But I know you’re not the drinking type.”

“Thank you.” Sifu Sabrina picks up a shiny kitchen knife. “So, wanna yak about  the Kitchen God?” The tip of the knife glistens as brightly as her lively eyes.

I climb atop a high-back stool at an island counter in the centre of the room. “How important is this fella?” I smooth the hair at the back of my head. “Is he just a lowly deity?”

“Hey, he’s as dangerous as me holding this knife!” Sifu Sabrina playfully touches her chin with the tip of the knife. “For a major sin that he reports to the Jade Emperor, you’ll be deprived of from 200 to 300 days for every twelve years of your destined life span.  For a minor sin, 100 to 200 days will be deducted from your life span. Understand?” With a nod, Sifu Sabrina turns her back to me and slices the broccoli on a wooden cutting board on the countertop.

“Yikes! That’s scary.” I slope back in my high-back stool with a loose fold of arms. “How to pray to the Kitchen God, appease him?”

Stepping over to the sink, Sifu Sabrina turns her back on me and my gaze traces its every curve. “Sweet cakes or nian gao are mandatory. Preferred food is cuttlefish, meat and chicken and three cups of wine, not tea. She rinses the broccoli under running water at the sink. “The offerings to burn are a hat, a pair of shoes, a ceremonial robe and a travel permit to enter and leave Heaven.” She casts a glance over her creamy shoulder—bonding our gazes—and returns her attention to the countertop. “One little-known but important point is that only men pray to the Kitchen God, not women.” She tosses the broccoli into a bowl containing peeled prawns and sprinkles something over them. “But some women are ignorant about this custom. The reverse applies to the Moon Goddess, Chang Er—she can only be prayed by women.”  The smell of cooking floats upward as she tosses the contents of the bowl into the sizzling frying pan.

“Where to get the Kitchen God’s paper clothing?”

Sifu Sabrina stir-fries the veggies with a spatula. “Chinese prayer store.” After a while, she steps sideways and takes an empty plate from the wall cabinet.

“The sending-off ritual’s a dying custom, right?”

Three long strides bring Sifu Sabrina to the island counter. “Declining in the big cities, but not in the small towns.” She sets both plates on the counter and pulls herself up on a high-back stool opposite and to the left of me.  “In Vietnam, the Kitchen God is very popular. There, the Kitchen God rides carps to ascend to Heaven, so carps are released into rivers. Paper carps are also burned as well as paper money for travel expenses.” Using a spoon, Sifu Sabrina rakes half of the veggies onto the empty plate. “Compliments of the chef!” She pushes the plate to me. “The Vietnamese Kitchen God is a collective term for three deities—all former mortals who became victims of jealousy, repentance and suicide.”

I take a fork from a nearby stainless steel cutlery holder and put it on my plate.  “Spill the legend, please, long story cut short.” I pass another fork to Sifu Sabrina.

Sifu Sabrina adjusts a strap of her dress. “Thanks.” She tucks strands of stray hair behind her ear. “Well, a woodcutter and his wife led a hard life. He became a drunk and started beating his wife.” Sifu Sabrina jabs at a piece of broccoli and brings it to her mouth. “Later, the woman fled and stumbled upon a hunter’s house and the fella gave her shelter and food. They became live-in lovers. Years later, the woodcutter—now a beggar—searched for his wife. He happened to pass her house but could not recognize her.” The feng shui looker pauses as she takes a big swallow. “His wife offered him food and while he was eating, the hunter returned. The woman couldn’t explain. So, the hunter assaulted the woodcutter. The woman got emotionally torn between the two men, became confused, and jumped into the kitchen hearth.” Sifu Sabrina shakes her head as if disbelieving the legend, a grimace flitting across her lips.  “Out of love, out of repentance from the women’s suicide, the hunter also followed suit. Sheesh, finally, the woodcutter also committed suicide in the same manner.” Disbelief coats the tone of her voice. “The powers above turned the three spirits into deities called Ong Tao. But our Chinese Kitchen God is called Zao Jun, also Zao Shen.”

I push my empty plate to one side. “Delicious, prawns are very fresh.” I pluck a piece of Kleenex tissue from a nearby box and wipe my lips.  “Yeah, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not wouldn’t even buy this story.” I crumple the tissue into a ball and leave it on my empty plate “Though not often, I’ve seen our Kitchen God depicted with two wives. Why?”

Sifu Sabrina crosses her legs.  “The legend goes like this. Zao Jun left his wife for a younger vixen, err woman. He later became blind, got dumped by his mistress. While begging for food, he chanced upon his wife’s new home.” My BFF puts her fork down on her empty plate, releases a whisper of a burp and rests both palms on the counter. “You want Chinese tea? Tikguanyin.” Her gaze hops to a nearby ceramic pot and I nod. “Out of pity, the wife took care of him. Later, Zao Jun recovered from his blindness, recognized his wife. He got so remorseful that he leapt into the kitchen fireplace.” Sifu Sabrina fills two cups with Tikguanyin tea, glides one cup to me with a delicate palm.   So, that’s why he’s sometimes depicted as having two wives. They help him record our doings.”

I take a swig of the tea and an exhale seeps through my lips. “Why you don’t have the Kitchen God?”

The almond shape of Sifu Sabrina’s eyes thin with apparent annoyance. “Like I said, women can’t pray to the Kitchen God.”

“Naughty, naughty.” The bite in my tone vibrates with jest. “You don’t have Kitchen God, so your bad deeds are not reported.”

“Hey, look at other side of the coin” Sobriety steals over Sifu Sabrina’s features. “Good deeds are also not reported, right?  So, the absence of the Kitchen God is like a double-edged sword.” Sifu Sabrina hops down from the stool, her breasts wobbling like jelly from the impact of landing on the floor. “Come, let’s eat the bakkwa.”

 /end

Sifu Sabrina and Mummy Lulu chat about Tai Sui and other related matters

Her thick lashes lift as Mummy Lulu takes a sip of her jasmine tea. “Who’s the Tai Sui for 2023?” She replaces the cup on the marble top of the table and crosses her legs, exposing thighs with varicose veins in the high slit of her blue qipao.  

To music from the plucking of the guzheng from somewhere, Sifu Sabrina adjusts the collar of her beige qipao and smoothens its front. “General Pi Shi,” she answers. The feng shui doll is wearing short hair permed with a wave, harking to the dizzy days of Old Shanghai.  “His sensitive directions are north and west.” The female sifu hefts a ceramic pot and re-fills Mummy Lulu’s cup, decorated with dragon motifs. “Zodiac animals offending him are Rabbit, Rooster, Horse, Rat, Dragon. As usual, lots of prayers by these folks.”

Ten minutes ago, Sifu Sabrina stumbled upon Mummy Lulu in the spick-and-span Starhill Gallery. “Hey, we’re both wearing qipao!” they exclaimed together. They decided to talk shop in a nearby tea house, whose entrance is disgorging a sweet fragrance.

Mummy Lulu picks up a spring roll with ivory chopsticks and starts to eat, talking with her mouth full.  “Isn’t the praying of Tau Sui just a money-making activity for temples? I’m skeptical—quite skeptical—that there’re 60 deities—God knows doing what in Heaven—taking rooster duties affecting a person’s endeavours.” Mummy Lulu raises her eyebrows, dark eyes in a squint. “Tell me, who discovered Tai Sui? When? How?” 

Sifu Sabrina shrugs. “I don’t know.”  She rests her hands, fingernails varnished beige to match her qipao, on the table. “To know more, go to Tai Por Kong Temple, also called San Jiang Miao. It’s on Macallum Street Ghaut, Georgetown. You can see 60 statues of the deities there.” She takes off the lid of the teapot and tilts it on its rim. “Talking about praying to Tai Sui, its most neglected aspect is not to thank the outgoing deity for his past blessings. This sending-off ritual can be done after Dong Zhi and before the first day of the first Lunar Month. People should do it out of courtesy.” A waitress appears, refills the teapot with hot water and the feng shui bombshell replaces the lid.

“Forget it!” Mummy Lulu snorts. Previous year has been horrid for me. Bad luck and a few misfortunes. And I was not in conflict with him. So why should I thank this bugger?” A scowl crimps Mummy Lulu’s expression.  “General He E, if I remember correctly.” The scowl fades away. “But I’ll be happy to welcome the new Tai Sui. Though I’m not a strong believer in him anyway.”

“Come on, at least, General He E let you survive 2022!” Sifu Sabrina throws her head back and laughs. “So, when are you leaving KL?”

Mummy Lulu takes out a tooth-pick from a plastic container. “I can only leave on the 23rd. Papa-san Yap asked me to welcome Cai Sen at the nightclub on 22^nd, first day of CNY. He read on the Internet that Cai Sen will arrive on that day at 1:40 am from the East. This bloke’s a die-hard in traditional customs.” Mouth agape, the mama-san picks at her teeth, then closes it. “Your office closed for how many days?”

“Five. You aware that the best days to restart work are 25^th, Wednesday, that’s the fourth lunar day, and 27^th, 6^th lunar day? So, I’ll be back on Friday. Will be in Penang with my niece.” Sifu Sabrina sips her invigorating tea and her eyes turn rounder, prettier. “I want her to pray to Wenchang Wang. He’s also in the Tai Por Kong Temple. The God of Literature, they call him.  Always carry a spectre in one hand. Students who pray to him have better examination luck. I heard some hacks suffering from writer’s block also go kowtow to him.”

Mummy Lulu brings her cup to her wrinkled lips and upends it.  “First time I’ve heard of Wenchang Wang.”  

 “Yes, unknown here. But in Taiwan, this deity rivals Confucius in popularity. Got two temples dedicated to him. Both in Taichung City.”  Sifu Sabrina looks at her wrist watch. “Finish drinking? Then, shall we scram?”

/end

Auspicious flowers to display during Chinese New Year, according to Sifu Sabrina, KL’s top feng shui consultant

In the living room of her condo, Sifu grabs six Mandarin oranges from a pile in a silver platter on a rosewood bureau and moves to sit on a leopard-skin ottoman across me.  “Here, catch!” She tosses an orange to me, leaving the rest on the ottoman between her legs. “This is Lukan orange.” She sinks a thumb into the rind of the Lukan and tears it away. “You came to talk about flowers?”

Sitting up straight across Sifu Sabrina three strides away, I peel the wrinkled skin of the Lukan. “What flowers to decorate your home during CNY?” My eyes widen as the sweet taste of the Lukan segment bites into my tongue.

Silence veils between us for a while as we snarf our oranges.

“Flowers, eh?” Sifu Sabrina tosses me another orange. “Try this Ponkan, a mandarin-pomelo hybrid.” It hits me in the crotch and Sifu Sabrina unleashes a giggle. “Oops, sorry.”  Her gaze holds mine hostage for several ticks. “The most auspicious flowers for CNY are flamingo lily, pussy willow, peach blossom, chrysanthemum, narcissus, plum blossom, peony, and orchid. Aww… you should know that they symbolize good stuff like good luck, prosperity, growth, harmony, success. Pussy willow is very popular as it has a life span of almost two months.”

I peel my orange. “I see that Ponkan has smooth skin.” I pop a segment into my mouth. “What’s pussy willow?”

[Pix: Yin Liu]

“Called yin liu in Mandarin.” Sifu Sabrina’s cheeks bulge as she stuffs a few segments of the Ponkan into her mouth.

“You sure some of these flowers are sold here?”

Sifu Sabrina throws me another orange. “This is Swatow.”  She licks her lips. “Regarding availability, I’ve checked a few online florists. For instance, Pudu Ria Florist offers cut pussy willow and narcissus. There’re other florists which offer CNY-themed floral arrangements, mostly using fake flowers. All accessorized with red or golden trinkets and knot-work. But fresh flowers are better than artificial.”

I flick my gaze back and forth from the Swatow I’m peeling to Sifu Sabrina’s legs. Holy cow. They’re killer legs. “Why artificial’s no good?” I eat a piece of the Swatow. “Hmm, not so sweet.”

“Swatow’s from Guangdong but it can be kept for two weeks.” The Swatow comes apart under Sifu Sabrina’s ripping fingers. “There’re only five elements in feng shui: wood, fire, earth, water, and metal. Fresh flowers represent the wood element. Artificial flowers are often made of plastic. But there’s no plastic element in feng shui. So, artificial flowers have no positive feng shui impact on your home, no boosting of vital chi.” Sifu Sabrina pauses as she takes a swallow. “Anyway, you can use fake flowers to dress up your home during CNY--you know, for symbolic meanings--but once CNY is over, discard them.”

[Pix: yellow narcissus]

I spit out some seeds onto my palm. “I read somewhere that fresh flowers are taboo during CNY as they are used for funerals.” I put the seeds on a table beside me.

Sifu Sabrina gathers the orange rinds on her ottoman. “Not true.” She rises, moves to a nearby waste basket and throws them inside. “Only white flowers—fresh and faux— are taboo,” she says over her shoulder. I would also discourage using a white vase.” She returns to the ottoman. “You told me earlier you want to discuss the Kitchen God next week.”  A ghost of a smile shadows  her lips. “Bring me a packet of yoke kon.”

I jerk my chin up in question. “When have I visited you empty-handed?”  

[Pix: peach blossom]

 /end

“Rat, Horse, Dog and Tiger have Peach Blossom Stars in 2023,” says Sifu Sabrina. “Here’re my tips to safeguard your marriage.”

“Nice place.” Sifu Sabrina’s hair flutters sideway to her right shoulder. “Gee… I never expect a windy ambiance at a waterfall.” My gaze skates from her willowy legs that slide up to gentle hips and a small waist.

Around us, butterflies flit along the river bank and hoots of macaques occasionally echo in the surrounding forest. As gusts of wind blow over the river through the canopy of trees, the dappled sunlight shifts back and forth across the waters like a bright net,

I wade through ankle-deep water and step up on a boulder. “Aren’t you ladies going to discuss what we came here for?” I stand facing Sifu Sabrina and whip out my mobile. “Sabrina, strike a pose!”

“Sure.” Sifu Sabrina rests an arm over her head. “Shoot!”

Click! I save the photo. “For posterity.”

“Send me a copy of the photo!”

“Sure, will do!” I swing my gaze from Sifu Sabrina to Sakura Siew, getting drenched by a cascade tumbling over boulders. Her breasts are sagging like water-filled balloons inside her swim-suit. “Come on, Sakura, I’m going to lay the mat and take out the food.” I replace my moby in my belt pouch and tread gingerly over the gravelly river bed to the grassy bank.

I squat under the shade of tall dipterocarp trees and unfurl a pandanus mat.  From a picnic basket, I take out boxes of sandwiches, fruits, skewers of hot dogs and fried chicken drumsticks. “The food’s ready.”  I start to unload bottled soft drinks and plastic cups on the mat.

Sakura rises from the waters. “Alright, gimme a minute to change.” She ambles like a baby elephant to the nearby public changing room.  Soon, Sabrina, Sakura and I are sitting at the picnic mat, taking a deep breather, savouring the clean, fresh air.

“Sakura, this picnic’s your idea.” Sifu Sabrina tucks her slender legs under her buttocks. “What do you want to talk about?”

“The Peach Blossom Star for the Water Rabbit Year.”

Sifu Sabrina sits straight. “For 2023, the Rat has the strongest Peach Blossom Star among the 12 animals; Horse, second strongest Peach Blossom Star; Dog's Peach Blossom is third strongest, Tiger has a moderate Peach Blossom.” She takes a sip of rose juice from a plastic cup. “Now, let me dispel the myth about Peach Blossom Star per se. For a single with a lover, a powerful Peach Blossom Star means excellent possibility of marriage. On the other hand, a person with a moderate Peach Blossom Star may get help from a person of the opposite gender.”  Sifu Sabrina’s tongue rolls to the side of her mouth with a grin, the tip peeking out as she hopscotches a gaze to me and back to Sakura. “For example, a handsome, smooth-talking life-insurance fucker backed by a  moderate Peach Blossom Star may sign a million-contract with an ugly old crone simply because her heart flutters for him. So, the Peach Blossom Star can be the devil or the angel. Where a married man or woman is concerned, usually, it’s a bad influence.”

Sakura chomps on a piece of sandwich. “Gimme tips to safeguard my marriage, Sifu Sabrina.” Muscles pull at the corners of her mouth as she chews unladylike. “My husband’s a Rat.”

Sifu Sabrina raises her eyebrows. “Err, he’s already eighty, isn’t he?” I grin.

“I love a man of his age. Has money in his head instead of brains. But beginning to come home late often.” Sakura puts her sandwich on her lap and fiddles her cell phone. “Here’s his photo.” She shows me the screen and my eyes span wider in surprise. “Better nip the problem, if any, in the bud."

Sifu Sabrina gives the food an once-over. “Most important is the north-west sector of your home. You need to strengthen it.”

“How?”

Sifu Sabrina picks up a ham sandwich with both hands. “Hang a few auspicious things there. A family photo of you, him and the kids is the best choice. When it is lighted up, the chi created will help ensure that he returns home to this family. Additionally, supplement the photo with a painting of a pair of mandarin ducks or a coin tree.” Sabrina takes a bite and chews. “Do you’ve a big garden?” She flicks her gaze at me. “Not enough mayonnaise, Ewe.”

I nod. “I bought the sandwiches.”

“Yes,” Sakura says. “I live in a bungalow and there’s land all around.”

“Then the northwest corner of your compound also needs attention. Don’t have any water features like a miniature fountain or a pond there. Instead have a rock garden, something solid. Moving water may trigger roving eyes in a man.”

I toss my gaze at Sifu Sabrina. "The marital bedroom?"

“Yes, a mirror shouldn’t face the marital bed.” Sabrina takes a gulp of her rose juice and focuses her attention on Sakura. “If the mirror cannot be moved elsewhere,cover it up with a sheet when the mirror is not in use. Finally, you can also strengthen the matriarchal sector of your house – that’s you.” She pauses. “The matriarchal sector faces the south-west. The best symbol to put there is a golden rooster. This animal is territorial and its ferocity will drive away potential family-breakers."

“Great!” Sakura’s eyes almost double in size. “I’ll install a very big rooster to amp up my chi! Then I can hen-peck my husband!”

 My jaw drops and a soggy morsel of meat drops out of my mouth.

 /end

Auspicious days for a haircut in 2023 based on the Chinese Almanac or Tung Shu, according to Sifu Sabrina

“Sorry, Ewe, no more predictions from me this year.” Leaning back in her chair, Sifu Sabrina props her hands behind her neck, her eyes far more serious than her manner warrants. “Instead, I’ll give your readers the good days for getting a haircut!”

My brows inch up in surprise. “What! There’re good days for getting a haircut?”

“That’s what the Chinese Almanac says.” Sifu Sabrina’s lashes flip up with a pleasant smile. “By getting a haircut on an auspicious day before going to Genting, for example, your Lady Luck may be a cut above the rest in the casino.”

“What if the guy is bald?”

Sifu Sabina leans forward, her lips twitching as if a grin is waiting in the wings. “Just wear a toupee, silly.” She slides a note pad across her desk to me. “Here’s the list.”

LIST OF AUSPICIOUS DAYS FOR A HAIRCUT IN 2023

3 January (except for Rabbit)

2 February (except for Rooster)

24, 27 and 31 March (except for Pig, Tiger and Horse respectively)

18 and 30 April (except for Rat)

20 June (except for Rabbit)

2, 19, 22, 26 and 29 July (except for Rabbit, Monkey, Pig, Rabbit and Horse respectively)

19 August (except for Rabbit)

21 and 25 Sept (except for Rat and Dragon respectively)

1, 3, 8, 18, 21 Oct (except for Dog, Rat, Snake, Rabbit and Horse respectively)

1, 2, 14, 21, 27, 30 Nov (except for Snake, Horse, Horse, Ox, Goat and Dog respectively)

7, 17, 22, 29 Dec (except for Snake, Rabbit, Monkey and Rabbit respectively)

/end

Origin of the Winter Solstice Festival which falls on December 22, 2022

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bj36qeEXoA8