As I enter Angie Ang’s office, she makes a half-turn on her leather chair, whips off her spectacles and holds them in mid-air. “You’re on the dot, Ewe.” She rises to her feet. “I just made hot cappuccino.” Her high-slit skirt exposing lots of thigh and blouse stretched tight by her ample bosom titillate me.
I saunter towards a padded chair facing her desk and plop down. “So, what book you want to share with me?” I cross my legs at the knees and catch a whiff of rose from her perfume.
Taking small steps on black pumps, Angie moves to a nearby table and pours some cappuccino from a pot into a porcelain cup. "Dr Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts." She takes out several biscuits from a tin and places them on the side of the saucer. “Let me treat you to some cookies, too.”
I shoot to my feet, move a small stride forward and take the cup and saucer. “Is this similar to Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus?” I put the cup and saucer on my lap.
Flipping
her shoulder-length auburn hair sideways, Angie sits on the edge of her desk,
leans forward and a smile graces her adorable lips. “I can’t comment cos I didn’t read that Mars
Venus book.” Her red bra and cleavage play peek-a-boo with me from her deep
neckline.
“What’s a love language?”
Angie returns to her low-back swivel chair. “The author’s defines a ‘love language’ as what a person values from his partner. He has grouped them into five types: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. So, to keep a relationship healthy, a spouse has to find out what his or her partner’s needs and wants are and deliver them as best as possible.”
I
cock my head sideways to remove a kink in my neck and take a sip of my coffee.
“I see.”
Angie leans back in her chair and crosses her legs. “Some people enjoy getting Words of Affirmation more than Receiving Gifts from their mates. Others rank Quality Time higher than Acts of Service. And so forth. At the end of the book, there’s a quiz to help you determine your primary love language. A person will usually have more than one love language.”
“Sounds like old ideas cobbled into a book.” I nibble on a butter cookie. “Praising your wife’s cooking in the presence of her friends; complimenting your husband when he has repaired the lawn mower; hubby taking the rubbish out once a week; hubby offering to wash the dishes; taking a vacation without the kids to spend quality time; holding hands while going for a walk, blah, blah, blah.”
“This
book was first published thirty years ago. Thus, compared to current titles, Chapman’s
advice are indeed old-school ideas. The author holds degrees in anthropology
and religious education. So, there’re no fancy psychology theories here -- a
good thing. Overall, this book is simple and practical. At the end of each
chapter, there are suggestions for both husband and wife to work on.”
Angie pulls out a side drawer at her desk, takes out a thin book and hands it over to me. “This is the book. You want to borrow it?”
I
flip to the contents pages. “No need.” I turn to the end of ‘Chapter Four: Words
of Affirmation’, and use my cell phone to snap the suggestions offered by the
author. I do the same for the end of ‘Chapter
Seven: Acts of Service.’
Angie grabs her handphone, taps a few buttons and shows me a photograph. “What would you do in this situation?”
My
eyes widen. “Hey, that’s you! I would pick up that packet for you.” I squish my
brows. “Who took this photo?”
“My boyfriend. He didn’t pick up the carrots for me, took a snapshot of me instead. Luckily, I’m not an Acts of Service woman. So, what he didn’t do didn’t annoy me. My primacy love language is Physical Touch.”
“Whoa…I envy your boyfriend!”
Angie straightens up in her chair. “What do you mean?” Her dimples deepen along with the tone of her voice.
“Err, I mean you and your boyfriend are lucky to have each other.”
Angie stretches out one smooth delicate hand. “Let me read to you a few excerpts from the book.” I return the book to her and she turns to a certain page.
“Here’s a gem. Love doesn’t erase the past, but it makes the future different. When we choose active expressions of love in the primary love language of our spouse, we create an emotional climate where we can deal with our past conflicts and failures.” She flicks her gaze from the book to me. “In other words, forgiveness is also important.”
I nod. “True, true.”
“Here’s another goodie: We each come to marriage with a different personality and history. We bring emotional baggage into our marriage relationship… In a healthy marriage, that variety of perspectives must be processed. We need not agree on everything, but we must find a way to handle our differences so that they do not become divisive.” Angie snaps the book shut, tosses it on her desk and steeples her hands, her elbows resting on the arms of the chair.
“Some couples quarrel because of money. I don’t see that issue being addressed in the book.”
“Come on, one medicine does not cure all diseases.”
I nod again. “Noted.” I bite on another cookie. “Thanks for telling me about this book.”
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