“My looks don’t attract men,” Sharon says as she pulls out a chair at Angie’s desk and settles down on it, “so how do I attract great guys?” She slips her handbag off her shoulder and places it on her lap. “I’m not interested in low-value dudes.”
Angie
rakes her gaze from Sharon’s head to toe. “You’re right! You’re as ugly as dog
meat!" She shoots a stoic expression at Sharon and her tone
of voice is serious. “But you can still attract high-quality men if you compensate
for your ugliness—sorry, I’m being blunt but honest—in other departments.” She removes
her spectacles (pix below). “Men find certain qualities desirable in
women. First is compassion. In a research conducted by Swansea University, it
was found that among the top three qualities that men looked for a potential girlfriend
or future wife was kindness or compassion.”
Sharon
wrinkles her nose. “Oh? No kidding?”
“Yup!
That’s not BS! The research findings were published in the Journal of
Personality, September 2019 issue.”
“So,
how to be compassionate?”
“Be
an advocate of some worthy cause— like animal rights, for instance—or volunteer
your services at an old folks’ home or an orphanage. If the guy’s mother or
father is in hospital, visit the patient, and bring some fruits along. If you’re
walking with him down a road, toss some money into a beggar’s bowl. If, in a
restaurant, an old crone’s dentures falls off when she opens her mouth to eat, don’t
laugh! If a geezer suffering from Alzheimer’s
steps out of a public toilet with his pants at his ankles, don’t laugh too!
Instead, show pity!”
Sharon
lets out a guffaw. “Oops! I’m sorry I laughed!”
“Next,
be fun to be with—as in good clean fun. Re-charge yourself before you go on a
date.” Angie replaces her spectacles. “Make sure you’re energetic physically
and lively mentally. Every man is a child at
heart. You can initiate a relationship with him with a bit of playfulness to
connect with him. Crack a few jokes,
make him laugh. Learn a repertoire of jokes and stories to tell him. Ask
interesting questions and give witty answers. That means you got to learn how
to think fast!” She taps the side of her head and winks (pix below). “Also, be eager to try new experiences with
him. If he suggests “Let’s try ice skating
at Sunway Pyramid,’ raise your palm for a high-five and respond with a smile
and a zesty ‘Sure! Let’s do it!’ ”
Sharon
bobs her head up and down. “I see.”
“Support
his passion or ambition. Example, if he plays golf passionately, go watch him
play and cheer him—even though you secretly think that GOLF stands for a Group Of
Lazy Fuckers! Another example: If he loves sketching, carry a sketch pad and a
graphite pencil with you discreetly in a bag. When you’re with him in KLCC Park, for instance,
surprise him with, ‘I brought something for you to do sketching!’ ” Angie crosses
her legs at the knees and tugs the hem of her skirt down. “If he’s taking a part-time
study course, offer to help him with Internet research or whatever. Be a giver to add value to his friendship or relationship with you. You get the drift?”
“Mmm…”
“Be
emotionally mature. That means don’t display poor anger management, a negative
attitude or, depending on your level of relationship with him, possessiveness.
For instance, don’t sulk if there's a one-mile queue at the cinema ticketing
booth or if you and he are caught in a bad traffic jam. These are circumstances
that are sometimes unavoidable.”
“But
I want to be myself.”
Angie
climbs on top of her desk, sits on it, rests her feet shod in stilettos on
the chair and smiles in question. (pix below). “Which do you want? Be yourself
and lose the man you’re interested in or change for the better and win his
heart? The choice is yours!” She harrumphs. “Lastly, be of marriage material
and communicate that value to him.”
“Err,
a few examples, please?”
“If
you’re in the home of your more-than-a-friend-but-less-than-a-boyfriend and
there are babies around, cuddle and kiss them! If the guy has nieces or nephews
who are toddlers, buy toys for them. You can also invite him for a home-cooked dinner.
Say something playful like, ‘I’m trying a new recipe this Saturday as I love to
cook. Can you be my guinea pig?’ All these things will demonstrate that you’re
marriage material.”
“Sweet
thunderation! The dinner thing is a good idea!” Sharon’s eyes widen with
interest. “There’s a dude whom I like but he treats me like a sister. I’m going
to invite him for dinner in my apartment and serve him fresh oysters and bull’s
penis soup.”
“Huh?
Why?”
“These
are aphrodisiacs. He’ll become horny after eating them. If he can’t control his
lust, I’ll have a romp with him in bed.” Her lips twist in a sinister smile. “If
I become pregnant, I’ve got him by the balls!”
“What!”
Angie’s jaw drops.
**********
My Author Page at Amazon USA
Please click on the link below:
https://www.amazon.com/Paik-Leong-Ewe/e/B00C6QTX5O
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