“Ewe.”
“Oh?
Come on in.”
The
door unlocks with a cluck. I swing it inward and step inside the office. My jaw
drops! Sitting on a rosewood chair of antique design, Sifu Sabrina is holding a feng shui book in one hand and is togged up in fishnet stockings and a red top (pix below).
“The weather’s horribly hot and I wasn’t expecting any visitors.” Sabrina puts her book away, sits straight and locks her gaze with mine for a moment. “I don’t see you carrying any Mandarin oranges?” Smiling, she shifts forward in her seat. “So, what’ve you brought for me this time?”
“My
book Penang Undercover.” I hand her a thick brown envelope.
Sabrina
takes my envelope and pulls out a paperback. “Thanks.” She gives the back cover
a once-over and puts the book on the coffee table. “I’ll read it later when I’m
free.” She leans forward and releases an exhale. “Now, I’m busy preparing for
my Advanced Diploma in Feng Shui – exams are after CNY in Zhengzhou in China.”
I
rest my elbows on the arm rests and steeple my hands. “Have you prayed to Confucius?”
“Confucius
only helps those who study hard.”
“Likewise,
the God of Wealth only helps those who work hard. So, for 2019, what’s the best time
to receive him?”
Sabrina
clears her throat. “The God of
Wealth will arrive from the South on February 4th. Best time to give him a
red-carpet welcome is from 11 pm to 1 am. Set up a table in your front porch or balcony
facing South. Offer food, fruits and wine. Kneel while you hold three joss
sticks and tell him your wishes. Then kowtow three times and burn gold incense
paper. You can also write your name and wishes on yellow paper and burn it together
with the incense paper. To add mojo to your
request, release a few pairs of birds. Eight will be
auspicious.”
“Who’ll
be the Grand Duke Jupiter?”
“General
Xie Tai will reside in the North-West. So, don’t sleep or sit facing that
direction as that’ll be confronting the General. Instead, sleep with your back
facing North-West. As always, don’t disturb
that sector of the house with renovations. Instead, hang a string of six ancient
coins to ward off the ill effects of the General.” She adjusts the strap of her
top. “The Snake is in direct conflict with the General; the Monkey, Tiger and Boar
are in indirect conflict. People born under these signs should carry a piyao
pendant (right pix).”
“You’re
a Tiger, aren’t you? That makes you thirty-three next year, isn’t it?”
“Don’t
be a busybody." The corners of Sabrina’s lips upturn in a grin. “Twenty-nineteen is the year of the Earth Boar. Therefore, lucky colours are red, pink and orange which represent Fire. White which represents Metal is also auspicious." She
rises. “You’ll have to excuse me. I’ve lots of studying to do.”
Publisher: Monsoon Books Ltd, Leicester, UK
/end
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