Nothing earth-shattering about Ashley’s by Living Food in Bangsar except its price, rants Ah Pit-Poh

Ah Pit-Poh (pix below) and I linger outside Ashley’s in Bangsar to wait for an empty table.

Soon, we're seated in the sidewalk beside a bookshelf. I turn at the waist to look at the books. They're pure junk. A sign says you can take any book as long as you replace it with a book of your own.

A waitress hands us a humongous menu and a smaller one, and we browse the listings.

“Sheesh! So expensive!” Ah Pit-Poh hisses. “I’ll just take a Borneo laksa." She flicks her gaze at me. "Look at the copywriting crap on the menu items! They’re just using flowery words to jazz up the description of the Borneo laksa in an attempt to justify the price of RM33.” Looking up, she points to a paper sign pasted on a glass door (pix below). “Don’t forget the 10% service charge and 6% GST.” Ah Pit-Poh leans back on her chair. “This so-called Borneo laksa is just Sarawak laksa which I can get for around RM5 in a kopitiam!”

“But this is organic food -- supposed to be healthy.”

“Don’t be a gong-kia, Ewe.” Ah Pit-Poh waves a finger. “You aren't going to live longer just because you eat a few meals of organic food, are you?”

A waitress arrives and I order Genmai Lui Cha; Ah Pit-Poh, Borneo laksa.

While waiting, a waitress brings us what she terms “complimentary salads.” Ah Pit-Poh takes a bite and sneers. “What’s the big deal about these complimentary salads (pix below)? This is what I feed my pet guinea pig every morning!”

Our food is served in white bowls that stand about six inches tall!

Ah Pit-Poh looks inside the bowls. “Bloody chibai kia! The bowls are big but the portions are small!" She slurps a spoonful of her Borneo laksa and shakes her head. "I don’t care how healthy organic food is -– it’s not worth it.”

My first chomp on the luicha fails to impress me. The rice and veggie are bland and the soup tastes like burnt rice, which differs from the greeny version I’ve tasted elsewhere. The firm tofu has a slight nutty flavour.

Ah Pit-Poh and I eat silently. I gaze into her eyes which tell me this will be our first and last time here.

/end