Beware of three popular scams in Bangkok’s Patpong, warns Mor Sai

“How’s your vacation in Bangkok?” I ask Ang Mor Sai, sitting on a bar stool beside me.

“I got scammed three times!” Mor Said (right pix) takes a glug of his beer. “All happened around Patpong.”

I pop a handful of nuts into my mouth. “Christ! Tell me more!”

“The first was a tiger show scam.” He wipes his lips with a Kleenex tissue. “I was passing a club and a tout accosted me to see a tiger show, said it was only 150 Baht for a drink and to watch the show. I paid him the 150 Baht, entered the dim club and was ushered to a table. A waitress served me a soft drink. A while later, a few fat Thai aunties climbed onto the stage to do all kinds of weird things with their pussies. When the show ended, a waiter handed me a bill for 2,000 Baht! When I tried to protest, he said the 150 Baht was for the price of the drink only.” Mor Sai's lips curl in disgust. “The waiter said the tout don’t work for the club. A bouncer sidled up to the waiter and stared with me with glinting eyes. So, I’d to pay up.”

“Smart! Otherwise, you might not have gotten out in one piece.” I sit upright. “The second scam?”

“A taxi driver offered to take me to a spa where the masseuses are drop-dead gorgeous, and give happy ending. We whizzed in and out of a few dark alleys and we stopped in a house with high walls. I got out of the taxi and entered. I almost fainted. All the massage ladies there were old dinosaurs (pix below)!

"When I wanted a leave without a booking, a burly man appeared from the shadows and threatened me with an AIDS needle. He looked like a retired muay thai boxer. ‘Pay your massage fee or you will get AIDS!’ he grunted, holding the syringe in front of my face!”

“Serious?”

“Yes, it was pure extortion!”

“Sheesh! Second time unlucky!” I pour more beer into my mug.

“Wait, there’s more!” Mor Sai shifts sideways to face me. “I was hit by a third scam when I was back in my hotel room. I was relaxing in bed and watching TV when I received a WeChat message which said, ‘Are you lonely?’ Hot blood skittered to my loins when I saw the sender’s profile photo (pix below)!

"We chatted a while and I popped the magic question. A price was agreed, and I gave her my room number. Ten minutes later, she knocked on my room door. When I opened the door and saw her, shock slapped me on the face! She was utterly different (first pix below) from the girl in her profile! She had also brought along two thugs! They had scary-looking tattoos on their bodies!” Mor Sai shakes his head. “I tried to slam the door shut but the thugs barged in. They could not speak English but used sign language to demand that I pay the agreed price (second pix below).”

“Yes, I've heard that WeChat with fake profile photos is also popular with ladyboys."

"After paying that ugly bitch, I asked her to leave. Phew! Never wander alone blindly in Patpong, and be alert at all times, that's my advice!"

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