[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
December 12, 2014
To: All Staff
c.c. Mr Johnny Yap, Managing Director
RE: CHRISTMAS DINNER AND DANCE
I am pleased to announce that Hot Legs Nightclub & Karaoke will hold its Christmas Dinner & Dance on December 23, 2014 at 8:30 pm.
Our Managing Director, Mr Johnny Yap, will come dressed as Santa Claus and distribute the company’s gifts.
Exchange of gifts among employees can also be done after the party. However, to respect Malaysian cultural sensitivity, gifts such as novelty condoms, vibrators, crotchless panties, push-up bras, KY Jelly, Tongkat Ali pills and suchlike are forbidden.
Display of affection among gay staff and among lesbian staff is also forbidden. Those who wish to smooch can do so in the washrooms or in the basement carpark.
Any male staff groping or fondling a hostess under the pretence of being drunk will be fined RM480 which is equivalent to the booking charge of four hours.
Any male staff wishing to bring a foreign girlfriend to the party must submit a photocopy of her passport to me. This is to protect the company in the event of a check by immigration as we don’t wish to be wrongly accused of hiring illegals as hostesses.
The Patpong Pussycats, a group of female pole dancers from Bangkok -- not ladyboys -- will provide entertainment. Please see pix below.
Please confirm your attendance with me ASAP.
Yours sincerely
Miss Chow Foo Kee
HR Manager
December 15, 2014
To: All Staff
c.c. Mr Johnny Yap, Managing Director
Re: CHRISTMAS DINNER AND DANCE
I have received a note signed by several gay staff requesting that special entertainment be also provided for them on the grounds that The Patpong Pussycats don't interest them. Therefore, in addition to the Patpong Pussycats, I have also decided to hire The Pinoy Hunks -- a renowned group of gay male stripteasers -- from Ermita, Manila. Please see pix below.
With these two groups of performers, I hope both gay male staff and straight male staff will be happy.
Yours sincerely
Miss Chow Foo Kee
HR Manager
December 16, 2014
To: All Staff
c.c. Mr Johnny Yap, Managing Director
RE: CHRISTMAS DINNER AND DANCE
I have also received email requests for (1) vegetarian food, (2) organic food, and (3) unlimited flow of Asahi Beer, Bir Bintang, Budweizer, Hoegaarden and Kilkenny.
In addition to the above, I got a note signed by lesbian staff requesting for a group of sexy Santarinas to sing carols.
To accommodate everybody’s whims and fancies, Mr. Johnny Yap has authorized me to trim and cut corners as our dinner-and-dance budget is limited. Therefore, I have finalized on the following:
1. Miss Georgina Goh (pix below), owner of Georgina Dance Academy in Bangsar, will replace The Patpong Pussycats.
2. The Fabulous Lau Jiao (pix below), an all-male dance troupe from the Hokkien Cultural Association in Pudu, will replace The Pinoy Hunks.
3. Our charwoman, Miss Kamala, and our tea-lady Miss Sumiko Wong (pixs below), will dress as Santarinas to sing carols.
4. High quality moonshine -- tested by our Mummy Lulu as safe for consumption (pix below) -- from a hush-hush distillery in Puchong (bottom pix) will replace imported beer to ensure ample alcohol for everyone.
I hope everybody is happy now. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Yours sincerely
Miss Chow Foo Kee
HR Manager
/end
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