Nightclubber Hussein with condoms in glove compartment caught by wife

[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]

Zuraidah, Wife No. 1 of Hussein, enters the living room of their house in Kampung Baru. She returns the ignition key to the Honda Accord back to her husband.

“Hussein!” she asks. “Why your glove compartment got condoms?” She places two plastic bags of groceries on the floor and sits down on the sofa to face her husband, her eyes glaring away. From her handbag, she produces a packet of condoms.

Hussein’s heart misses a beat. Two nights ago, he picked up a 38-24-36 Thai hooker [left pix] from Beach Club and used the car as a love nest in the parking area of Titiwangsa Lake Garden. “Er — I use these condoms to -- to protect my cigarettes from getting wet. Smoking in the office’s not permitted. So I go to the verandah to smoke. When it rains, sprays of water sometimes splash on the cigarette. Let me show you.”

He reaches for the packet of condoms, takes one out and tears away the plastic. Using a pair of scissors, he cuts off the end and slips the condom over a cigarette. He lights the cigarette and starts puffing.

“See? My cigarette can’t get wet.”

“My Bapak also smokes,” Zuraidah says.

“Yeah, the cigarette of a tekong [captain] at sea can get wet easily. It’ll be great to get him some condoms also.”

The next day, Zuraidah goes to a condom store in Sungei Wang Plaza.

A sales assistant approaches her. “Er, can I help you?”

“I want some oil-free condoms.” She glances around the displays filled condoms of all brands, sizes and types.

“What size?”

“”It has to fit a Camel.”

“Eeeeeek! Sex with a camel?”

“Sex? What’re you talking about? My Bapak smokes Camel-brand cigarettes.”

/end