Grab the oranges that'll be thrown by these beautiful people on Chap Goh Meh!

[Above: Painting of Chap Goh Meh by Dr. Yuen Chee Ling]

College student Carol Chuah (pix below) curls her lips sensually and coos, “I’m not desperate for a boyfriend as I’m still young.” A rose tint blushes her cheeks as she sweeps her eyelashes, vivacity sparkling from her eyes. “But I’ll be throwing several oranges with my hotmail address on them in the hope of knowing a new handsome friend. See you at Tanjung Harapan, Port Kelang!”

Fifi Fu, (pix below), a beautician, exhaling breath like the smell of rotting fish, says, “I’ll be throwing one big box of lokam oranges with my HP number written on them. Location? Taman Jaya Lake, PJ.” Raising an arm to reveal scraggly armpit hair, she runs a pudgy hand through her silky crowning glory reeking with the fresh scent of shampoo. “But don’t fall in love with my face and body; instead, fall in love with my heart, spirit and character. No fat guys, please.”

“I was born in the Tiger year,” says Sifu Sabrina (pix below), enveloped in the sweet fruity scent of ylang ylang from her perfume, “so I’m only interested to meet either a Tiger man or a Dragon man. Moreover, his part chi or birth particulars must be compatible with mine.” She rolls her hopeful eyes ceilingward. "Oh, Jade Emperor, please grant my wish this Chap Goh Meh. Hopeful dudes can catch me at Taman Tasik Permaisuri, Cheras, KL with a basket of oranges!"

“I’m seeking eyes that will see beauty in me when I’m old and ugly,” says Jessica (pix below), scrunching up her face to look like a hag, “arms that will comfort me”—she hugs herself—“when I’m sick and a heart that will love me”—she brings a palm to the left side of her chest—“with all my faults. I'll be in Seremban 2 City Park on February 4! Also at Padang Kota Lama on Feb 5.”

Squawking like an old rooster, Ang Mor Sai (pix below) says, “I’ve bought one lorry-load of plantains or pisang tanduk to throw. I’ve hired two illegal Bangladeshis— they’re such cheap labour!—to write my name and email address on each and every plantain. They’ll be helping me to toss the pisang tanduk into the sea--Jetty Bastion Middleburg, Melaka.” His cloudy eyes twinkle with lechery. “I hope to get several new GFs with my costly but worthwhile investment.” Jaw dropping wide open, he blasts out a guffaw, causing his plastic front denture to drop out. “Oops!” His hand flies to his toothless mouth and he muffles. “Happy Chap Goh Meh to all readers of The Wordslinger blog!”

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