Friday, January 16, 2015

Wati of Hot Legs Niteclub reveals to Chow Kah the downside of having a beautiful girlfriend

[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]

“What’s wrong with you tonight, Chow Kah?” asks Jessica (pix above). “You seem a bit unfriendly to me.” She has on a T-shirt that slips over her bare shoulders, caressing the curve of her breasts like a lover.

Sitting a foot away from Jessica, Chow Kah replies, “I just bought an e-book titled ‘How to Get a Beautiful Girlfriend’. The first guideline is never to grovel at her feet -– in other words, don’t be too nice to her. This will make the suitor stand out from the rest of the pack.”

“And you’re applying it on Jess,” Wati (pix below) chips in, “hoping to make her your girlfriend?”

I notice Hussein tracking a path down Wati’s body with his eyes.

“Of course,” Chow Kah says, looking at Jessica from the corner of his eyes.

Jessica scrunches her nose, sticks her tongue out at Chow Kah and giggles. "Fat chance!"

Wati holds Chow Kah with her gaze. “Do you know the downside of having a beautiful girlfriend?”

Chow Kah takes a sip of his Asahi Premium Beer and puts the frosted mug down. “There’s no downside. Having a bombshell will only make me happier.”

“Nonsense.” Wati runs her slender fingers through her hair. “A bombshell will only frazzle your nerves and give you sleepless nights.”

“Interesting theory, elaborate please,” Hussein says, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Wati.

Wati sits up straight. “For a start, you’ll become jealous and possessive. Every man who talks to her or is a close friend of hers is a potential competitor. If you feel insecure for whatever reason, there’ll be lots of arguments and fights with her. Next, no one will notice you when you go out with her. Whether it’s a party or a networking function, the spotlight will always be on her.”

“That’s not a problem with me. I don’t attend that many functions.”

“People will also think she’s with you because of your money and that she don’t truly love you.” Wati looks around. “Anyone here who’s heard Elvis Presley’s song ‘Suspicion’?”

Chow Kah says, “Nope, I’m not that old, must be before my time!”

Wati grabs the remote control, aims it at the karaoke machine and jabs a few buttons. A few seconds later, lyrics appear on the TV monitor and she starts to sing into the mike:

“Ev'rytime you kiss me
I'm still not certain that you love me
Ev'ry time you hold me
I'm still not certain that you care
Though you keep on saying
you really, really, really love me
do you speak the same words
To someone else when I'm not there

Suspicion torments my heart
Suspicion keeps us apart
Suspicion why torture me

Ev'rytime you call me
and tell me we should meet tomorrow
I can't help but think that
you're meeting someone else tonight
Why should our romance just
keep on causing me such sorrow?
Why am I so doubtful
whenever you're out of sight?

Darling, if you love me,
I beg you wait a little longer
Wait until I drive all
these foolish fears out of my mind
How I hope and pray that
our love will keep on growing stronger
Maybe I'm suspicious
'cause true love is so hard to find.”

She ends the song to appreciative applause from everyone in the room.

“That song is absolutely spot on, Chow Kah,” Wati (pix above) says, putting the mike aside. “A beautiful girlfriend is nothing but trouble. And do you know that when the boyfriend is not his girlfriend’s equal in terms of looks, that relationship is doomed!”

“Serious, Wati?” I ask, stifling a yawn as it’s already 2 am.

“Of course, she's serious,” Jessica says. “Rob Burris, a psychologist at Liverpool University, discovered that a pretty woman dating an average-looking man will break up with him faster than if she was dating a handsome man. I’m revealing the facts, everybody. The results of the survey were published in the journal Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin in 2011. On the other hand, if woman was less attractive than the man, the relationship lasted longer because she was satisfied.”

Hussein adds, “This may be off-topic, but my advice is this -- don’t marry the person whom you adore, but marry the person who adores you!”

Wati shifts her gaze to Chow Kah. "Maybe you should try to court Jessica’s sister. Not so pretty but still presentable.”

"I'll be happy to introduce my younger sister to you, Chow Kah," Jessica adds.

“Hah! That’s another sneaky trick from both you girls!” Chow Kah waves a hand to dismiss the suggestion. “No thanks, I know she’s ugly! No deal!”

Grinning, Jessica says, “When my sister was born, the gynaecologist's jaw dropped!"

Chow Kah pulls his mouth down in a scowl. “See! I knew it! She must be as ugly as dog meat!”

“Sure you don’t want to know her?” Wati asks, smiling.

“Nope!” Chow Kah shakes his head. “Over my dead body!”

“Sure, Chow Kah?” asks Jessica, smirking.

“Sure! Sure! Sure!”

Jessica leaves the karaoke room, returns with a three-by-five photo (pix below) and hands it to Chow Kah. “That’s my sister beside me.”

“Shit! I blew my chance!” exclaims Chow Kah, eyes bulging (right pix), staring at the photograph. "She's gorgeous."

Jessica purrs, "The gynaecologist became slack-jawed because she was so cute.”



ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore

Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (

The book is sold in Europe and Australia at the following e-retailers: (UK) (France) (The Netherlands) (Germany) (Denmark) (Norway) (Romania) (Czechoslovakia) (Australia)


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