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Saturday, September 13, 2014

Sifu Sabrina, KL’s top feng shui consultant, gives tips for attaining longevity



[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]

“Sabrina, how about some tips for attaining longevity,” I say into my moby. “When can I come over?”

“We can meet at Desa Parkcity in Bandar Menjalara, tomorrow, 6 pm. I’ll be taking my dogs for a walk.”

“Which part of the park?”

“Outside the mall facing the lake.”

“That’ll be great.” I press END and replace my moby in my pocket.

*****


The next day, I find Sifu Sabrina (pix above) holding two leashes hooked to the harnesses of two white pooches. I let out a whistle. They're so cute -- both the dogs and the owner.

I walk to her, and we saunter two abreast along the concrete pathway with her mutts trailing behind.

“You want feng shui tips for longevity?”

“Yes.”


“That’s easy. Keep feng shui symbols at home or wear them on your person. A six-rod wind chime can be hung at the front door or front porch. It will repel bad chi.”

We pass a rubbish box that says “Dog Waste Disposal Bags.”

“Other auspicious symbols for longevity are statues of the crane, deer, turtle dragon and the God of Longevity. A brass calabash is also excellent for keeping bad chi away. The calabash is also known as the bottle gourd, also known as long melon. In Taoist mythology, monks always used a calabash to suck up evil spirits and imprisoned them inside. In ancient times in China, the calabash was known as the 'giver of life' as it functioned as a water container.”

I hear a loud thud and turn to see a man rubbing his forehead after crashing into a lamppost. A woman beside him hollers, “Lou-kung! Serves you right for staring at her!”

“For the garden, try to plant bamboo.” Sifu Sabrina throws a glance behind to check that her dogs are alright. “The pine also symbolizes longevity but since it grows in colder climate, it can be substituted with a painting of pine trees.”

We come to a bridge and start to cross it; Sifu Sabrina runs one hand through her long, silky hair and makes a one-eighty sweep of the environs. “These longevity symbols should be placed in the health direction of the bedroom. Remember the kua number?”

“Yes.” I take a deep breath of the cool fresh air. “Calculated based on one’s birthdate.”

“Yup, the health direction depends on a person’s kua number.”

Several paces ahead, a wooden gazebo stands on the bank of the lake. “Let’s sit down for a while,” Sifu Sabrina says. “I’ll give you the health directions for the different kua numbers.” We sit down on a wooden bench; I whip out a ball pen and a memorandum pad and pass them to her.


Sifu Sabrina crosses her legs at the knees, places the memorandum pad on one knee and starts to write. I look around. Jesus Christ! A short distance away, the man who had earlier crashed into a lamppost is being held in a headlock by his wife! I can hear his wife holler, “Why're you always staring at that bitch?”

Sifu Sabrina (pix above) looks up and returns my memorandum pad and ball pen. “Here you are.” She gazes at the tranquil water of the lake. “It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?”

I read aloud what she has written:

“1 – East
2 – West
3 — North
4 — South
5 Male — West
5 Female — North-west
6 — North-east
7 — South-west
8 — North-west
9 — South-east.”

“That’s right.”

As I return the memorandum pad to my waist pocket, Sifu Sabrina rises to her feet. “Come, let’s take a break. My dogs are tired. Their tongues are hanging out.”

When we reach the waterfront mall, Sifu Sabrina asks, “Want to eat duck rice?”

“Love to but dogs aren’t allowed in that restaurant.”

“Never mind, just follow me.”


Outside the restaurant, Sifu Sabrina produces a pair of sunglasses from her blouse pocket, wears them and we step inside.

A waiter says, “Sorry, dogs are not allowed.”

“I’m blind,” Sifu Sabrina replies. “These are my eye-seeing dogs.”

“Oh? In that case, your eye-seeing dogs can come in.”

/end


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Length: 272 pages
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