[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]
Through the top half glass wall of the karaoke room door, Chow Kah, Hussein Jessica, Wati and I spot Mummy Lulu (pix below) walking past the karaoke room. Dressed in a sequin bustier, she looks glum.
“What’s wrong with Mummy?” Chow Kah asks, cracking a water-melon seed between his teeth.
Wati (pix above) says, “Her daughter’s dating a man much older than her and Mummy disapproves. The office staff heard her scolding her daughter over the phone. Seems that her daughter is twenty-two and her boyfriend is forty.”
Jessica crosses her legs, revealing alabaster white thighs. “Mummy Lulu’s not being realistic. Older men make better husband material than younger men.”
I ask, “Why do you say that?”
“Imagine a guy in his early twenties.” She uncrosses her legs again, exposing a glimpse of red panties. “Ask yourself these questions. How much does he earn?” She slides forward on the couch, leans to the table and grabs some groundnuts. “Does he own a car? Note that I say own, not bought on hire-purchase." She starts to crack the groundnuts. "How responsible is he? How does he treat women? What’s his living arrangement like? Probably staying with parents. How emotional controlled is he? Probably still Mama’s big boy and showing tantrums and his temper to his girlfriend or wife.”
“I see what you’re driving at,” Hussein remarks, taking the bottle of Bir Bintang and drinking a long swallow straight from the bottle.
Jessica (pix above) pops some groundnuts into her mouth. “Consider those same questions on an older man. He earns more than the younger man. His car is fully paid up. He’s more mature and responsible. He’s probably more chivalrous. He’ll hold a door open for the girl, pull the chair out at a restaurant and open car doors for her.”
Chow Kah shakes his head. “Sigh! Jess, that means I’ve zilch chance to be with you as a life partner? I’m only two years older than you.”
“See? What you’ve said proves that younger men are more irresponsible. You’re married, darling! Stick to your fat ugly wife! When she was younger, she was slim. Now after giving you children, she balloons up, and you want to dump her away? That’s irresponsible.” Jessica places her hand on Chow Kah’s lap. “But you can always come here to find solace in me, dear…as my customer.”
“It all boils down to money, rite?” Hussein says.
Jessica makes a face and shakes her head. “Not entirely true. Only to a certain extent. Older men care more for the pleasures of his partner in bed. Younger men go for wham-bam-thank-you-maam! In conversations, younger men would probably talk about English Big League Soccer, wrestling, dart games at the bar, K-pop and partying. Such topics cannot hold a girl’s interest for long. Older man would prefer to discuss more serious matters. Their scope of interests is broader. Has anyone read Steve Harvey’s book titled Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man?”
Silence from everybody.
“It’s a book about relationship. His advice in finding a quality boyfriend is –- to borrow his quote -– 'Date an older man. He’ll treat you right!' ”
“Truer words have never been spoken,” says Hussein, who excitedly drags his identity card out of his wallet and holds it in front of Wati’s face. “Darling, see, I’m forty-five. You’re early twenties. We can elope to Thailand and get registered there.”
“Not so fast! I think an older woman is also fantastic, darling,” Wati says, grinning devilishly. “You should also consider an old woman. She’s stylish, sophisticated and has no interest in children. She’s cheaper to date and will pay for the restaurant’s bill and motel room rental; if she's in menopause, you don’t have to wear condoms. Think of the fun doing it in the raw!" She giggles. "And you can have sex with her 365 days a day! Sweet old ladies are also more understanding. Meaning to say, they know that sometimes if you guzzle twelve beers, you can’t perform, they understand. They won’t complain compared to a young girl.” She peels off her clothes. "Wow, I feel hot after drinking the kacip fatimah." She goes to sit on the sink at the bar in the far end of the room.
“Those pros are too good to be true.” Hussein scratches his head and puckers his brows. “There must be a few cons.”
Jessica remarks, “The only downside is that they have a wrinkly pussy. No big deal, Hussein." She flashes a set of white teeth "Switch off the lights while humping her and everything feels the same as with a younger girl.” The right corner of her mouth curls upward in a wry smile. “Well, more or less.” She guffaws and rolls her eyes upward. “Oh…I forget one point in favour of old men. If he talks too much, hide his dentures and he can’t talk any more.”
/end
*****
My Latest Novel
ISBN (Paperback): 978-981-4423-84-4
ISBN (ebook): 978-981-4423-85-4
Length: 272 pages
Publisher: Monsoon Books, Singapore
Link: monsoonbooks.com.sg
Available in Malaysia and Singapore from Popular Bookstore, Kinokuniya, MPH (both store and online) and Select Books Singapore (selectbooks.com.sg).
The book is also sold in Europe and Australia at the following e-retailers:
--amazon.co.uk (UK)
--amazon.fr (France)
--bol.com (The Netherlands)
--bokus.com (Germany)
--adlibris.com (Denmark)
--platekompaniet.no (Norway)
--books-express.ro (Romania)
--nejlevnejsi-khihy.cz (Czechoslovakia)
--booktopia.com.au (Australia)
ebook version will be available soon.
/end
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