[Pix of model for illustration purpose only]
“How’s your holiday?” I ask Jessica. The VIP Room of Hot Legs Nightclub & Karaoke is already decorated with tiny lanterns and auspicious Chinese sayings.
“Great! I went with my Ahkong [grandpa], sister and parents to Bali,” she says.
“Oh, I’ve been there before. Yes, fantastic for surfing, cultural performances, handicrafts and paintings.”
She dips her hand into a bag and takes our four miniature blue surf boards brightly painted and four wooden key chains intricately carved. "Take one of each,” she says.”
Chow Kah brings the souvenirs to his lips and smacks them. “Thanks, Jess, precious gifts to remember. Must keep them under my pillow.”
“How’s the nightlife there?” asks Hussein. He places the tokens in his shirt pocket.
Wati observes the blue surf board. It leans against a miniature dolphin in an upright position. Makes a great display on the living room cupboard. “Should be expensive. Kuta’s a tourist destination.”
“Yup, if you want to book a kupu-kupu malam [butterfly of the night], it will cost you one million rupiah onwards.”
“Our money how much?” asks Wati.
“Around three hundred and fifty,” Hussein says.
“That’s cheap,” I say.
“But that’s the rock bottom price for makcik with looks that kill your libido. For spring chicken, it’s one-and-a-half million rupiahs at least. They hang around the bars in Kuta. Cheaper meat are on sale at Sanur.”
“How you know? My 70-year old Ahkong’s [grandpa} still young at heart. Two weeks before the trip, he bought back a bottle of China snake wine. He kept it in his room. Every night before sleeping he'd take a shot.
“One evening, in Bali, my Ahkong [grandpa] sneaked out. I bumped into him in the lobby as I was going to the hotel’s swimming pool. Just going to a spa in Sanur, he says. Next morning during breakfast, I ask, how's the spa?
“Ho liao! My Ahkong enthused.” He gave a thumb-up. The supir [driver] took him to the Arum Village Day Spa. Actually, he asked to be taken to a spa luar istimewa, the hum sup old man confesses. Can't blame him. My grandma died 15 years ago. He's got no one to play with."
Jessica brings out a pile of colour pixs, handing them to Wati. “Here're some photos taken in Bali."
Hussein leans toward Wati to look at Jessica's holiday photos. "Your grandpa went for aromatherapy massage?"
"You know, Thailand’s famous for soapy-water body massage. In Malaysia, our girls use baby oil. Bali's hottest sleazy service is now beer massage. The buleh [Westerners] loooove it!”
Chow Kah raises a pitcher of Asahi beer. “Same as body-to-body massage but they use beer, rite?”
“Sort of. The masseuse enters the room with a basket containing two cans of cold Bintang beer, towels and a spray, my Ahkong says. She shakes one tin vigorously. Then she pops it open. Whoooooosh! The froth starts shooting out! She aims at his body, the froth ejaculating like semen. Ahkong claims that instantly, afternoon heatiness accumulated from daytime sightseeing drains away. Then, she sprays lotion over the beer layer. She springs into action. Massages his arms and chest. Her killer technique is gliding up and down his inner thighs with gentle pinching of the genitalia area.
“After fifteen minutes, the poor old man buay tahan liao. She asks him, Bapak mahu love massage? He understands. Mahu! Mahu! The old bugger shrieks excitedly. His libido turbo-charged with snake-wine already -- cannot resist. The girl strips and takes a quick shower. Lays down spread eagle. She is all his to play with! Her brown breasts are as round as char siew pow, my grandpa's eyes looking dreamy in sweet memory as he relates his sexperience. The Balinese girl is only 18 years old. Her wild orchid tight as a bachang [rice dumpling] my grandpa discovers later."
“She jigs another can of Bintang beer with force, as if masturbating it. Buka dan tembak atas badan saya, she plays teacher. Bapak boleh jilat beer dari susu dan badan saya [you can lick the beer from my breasts and body] Wah, my Ahkong chiak bay leow loh! [eat cannot finish lah.] He's a hard-core drinker.” Jessica giggles. “Must have played doggie for a while with his partner. The rest of the story, you should know.”
Excitement seizes Hussein. “Address of this spa?”
“Jalan Danau Poso, Sanur. All taxi drivers should know it.”
“Wow...I must go to Bali for my Chinese New Year vacation,” Chow Kah announces. “Hey, Jess, do a favour, please. Ask your grandpa to buy a bottle of snake wine for me."
Hussein's eyebrows shoot upward. "Got any halal snake products for manhood, ah?"
/end
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