“Most women drivers are an ungrateful lot!” Mummy Lulu snaps

 

“It doesn’t pay to practise courteous driving.” Mummy Lulu lets annoyance cram in her voice. “Give way to  a woman driver when you’ve right of way; example, at a crossroad, nine out of ten times, she’s ignores you after taking the privilege. Worst offenders are the young cocksuckers, oops, pardon my French, I mean bitches, in shiny cars. Do the same with a lorry driver, and the fucker--though uneducated--still has the courtesy to wave a  hand in a gesture of thanks. Some men flash their headlights to acknowledge. Nine out of ten times, you’ll get a response from male drivers. As an old bitch, I don’t care what anybody thinks about my comment.” She raises two middle fingers. “Tiew nia ma chow hai! I say when I mean and I mean what I say.”

A grin fidgets at the edges of my lips. “Maybe lorry drivers like you, Mummy.” I suck in a sharp breath, connect my gaze with what's beneath her shades, and release it in a noisy exhale. “Phew! After all, you’re so funky.”

A voiceless groan vibrates in Mummy Lulu’s throat. “Aw, cut the wisecrack,” she says, her voice creaking like a rusty gate.

"You practise what you preach?"

A muscle convulses in Mummy Lulu's neck.  "Of course. Whenever a male driver gives way to me, I always toss him a kiss." She puckers her lips and my jaw drops.