[Pixs of models for illustration only]
“How can I help you?” Angie Ang (pix above) asks.
Billy, a twenty-something bachelor, puckers his brows. “The girl I’m interested in says she treats me as a friend. What shall I do?” His voice is choked with emotion.
Angie Ang is Penang's top romance and marriage consultant, and Billy's in her office in Love Lane, Georgetown, seeking advice.
Angie starts to twirl a ballpoint pen in her hand. “How long have you known her?”
“Almost eight months. One day, we were strolling along Gurney Drive, watching the sunset. She was lingering a step behind me. I moved closer to her and offered my hand but she giggled, said we’re only friends. So, we shouldn’t be holding hands. Sigh! That was two months ago. I was disappointed but continued to be nice to her. Ran errands for her, topped up her mobile, bought packet lunch for her, and took her to expensive restaurants. Then last week, I bought tickets for a couple's seat in a cinema but she sat close to the side of her seat—creating a big gap between us. I’m confused. Is she testing me? Is she playing hard to get?”
“She’s your colleague?”
“Nope, we work in the same building, different office.”
“Stop giving yourself false hopes. You’ve to face reality. She’s using you. You can even offer to buy her a car, but you’ll still not win her. So, get out of the friend zone and move on with your social life. The friend zone is frustrating because the longer you remain there, the more you’ll be exposing yourself to manipulation. Some women are like that. They enjoy the power they have over the person who’s doing the chasing. They like the shopping sprees, birthday gifts and expensive dinners, but nothing more. Perhaps, they’re still looking around in the hope of finding someone else better. Whatever the reason, the mistake of many men is to assume that she needs more time to decide her feelings." Angie gets up from her chair and starts to round her desk. "Such men continue to waste time, effort and money on girls whom they’ve no hope of winning." She stands in front of Billy and studies his hang-dog expression (pix below). "The friend zone is like being stuck in CAPS LOCK. When a man has made an emotional investment in a woman, I know it's difficult to get out. But somehow, he has to free himself fast! The same applies to a woman who's being treated as a friend by a man she's adores.”
“But where did I go wrong?”
“Perhaps, she does not see you as potential husband material. Possibly, you’re dating someone out of your league. Maybe there're money or compatibility issues. A third possibility is you made your move too slow. Next time, you meet a babe you’re interested in, by all means be nice to her. But don’t show that she means everything to you. Let her know you've your own life. If she’s half-hearted about being your girlfriend, let her know there’re others waiting. Either she wants you or she doesn't want you—don't let her push you to no-man's land. You get what I’m getting at? You must be in control of the situation. I suggest that you forget this girl in question. If she’s interested in you, she’ll try to contact you.”