One Friday evening, my buddies, Lee Ah Boo and K. K. Soong, had coaxed me into joining them at a pub in Jalan P. Ramlee. A minor beauty competition was being held at the pub, and Lee and Soong wanted to watch the contestants. But I was to stay off the booze and drive them home. In return they would buy me lunch at the Lobsterman Restaurant.
That evening, I was already at the bar, sipping my third Pepsi when I realized that they were an hour late. It was another five minutes later when Lee came, and what a sight he was. He had a bruise on his left eye and a cut on his lip. Lee ordered a Bloody Mary and smiled feebly.
“My goodness, what happened?” I asked.
Lee explained that a florist had set up shop in Stesen Sentral where his office was located, and he was trying to court her. After repeatedly buying flowers for himself, he had managed to know her. Lee discovered she collected foreign coins; he collected stamps. Under the pretext of wishing to show the florist his stamp collection, he made an appointment with her at her apartment in Pudu.
“I don’t know whether I had made a mistake in the time or not but when I arrived, she was alone and wearing a spaghetti-strap night gown.”
“My goodness, how could you? That poor helpless girl..” I protested.
“Wait, don’t jump to any conclusion,“ explained Lee. “We merely chatted about her flower business and then I showed my stamp collection. Later, she showed me a scar on her left shoulder. It was caused by her little sister having burnt her with a lighted match while playing masak-masak. At that moment, the door of the apartment burst open and in rushed –“
“Her father?”
“No, her boyfriend. Apparently, he’s a kung expert and terribly jealous too. The rest was history. After being a punching bag, I managed to grab my stamp album, and run down four flights of steps.
I almost doubled up with laughter. The bartender who had overhead everything shook his head in disbelief.
“Where’s Soong?” asked Lee suddenly.
Talk of the Devil. At that moment, Soong showed up. Strange. His nose was bandaged and his ear was wrapped in metres of plaster.
Lee and I were shocked. We asked what had happened to him.
“You know, everyday I travel by LRT to Stesen Sentral to change trains to get to my office. I also have a good collection of remote control cars –“
“And you showed them to the florist in Stesen Sentral?” I asked.
Soong stared in amazement. “Yes, but how did you guys know?”
“Excuse me, I have a phone call to make,” I told my two friends.
I went outside the pub where it was quiet and pressed several buttons on my cellular phone.
“Hello, Jessica?” I said into the mouthpiece. “Regarding your invitation to show you my collection of limited-edition comics, I can’t make it. Maybe some other time. Bye.”
Phew… what a lucky escape.
/end
