Conned by shrewd debtor and money-changer

Miss Indera Sukumaran once regaled me with the story of her stint with a legal firm in Jalan Alor, Kuala Lumpur.

On her first day at work, Indera was asked to prepare a letter of demand to be sent to a client's debtor, a Mr Tze Chow Kah, giving him seven days to settle his trading debts; otherwise, he would be sued.

After completing the letter, Indera showed it to the firm's principal partner.

He read through the letter. "I'm afraid this won't do," he said to Indera. "It's too harsh. Tone it down."

Indera amended several words and phrases on the letter and retyped another. When shown the letter, her boss nodded his approval. "This is okay except for two misspellings," he said. "There is only one 'l' in 'swindler' and two 'o's' in 'crook.'

Indera corrected the mistakes, and the letter was duly signed and posted. A week passed but no payment was received by either the client Mr H.H. Liao or the legal firm. Liao instructed his solicitors to sue the debtor.

Indera prepared copies of a summon for filing in court. A copy was posted by registered mail to the debtor. Upon receipt of the summons, Tza Chow Kah telephoned and proposed to pay by 12 instalments. If the plaintiff, Liao, did not agree, he would engage a lawyer to fight the case.

When Indera phoned Liao to inform him of the contents of the letter, he made an appointment to see her.

Liao was a harmless man who did not hold anything personal against his debtor. "Tell my debtor that I cannot acept his proposal because of my financial circumstances," he told Indera. "I have eight children of school-going age, a wife who suffers from epilepsy and cannot work, and a seventy-year old mother who needs attention twenty-hours a day. They are expensive to maintain."

From his pocket, he took out a photograph of his wife and child in drab clothes and his mother sitting a wheelchair. "Enclose this photo with your letter. It should make him understand my situation."

Days later, Indera received a reply from Tze Chow Kah. It came in the form of a photograph of a young woman with long hair, huge eyes, a waist like that of a wasp, and breasts as big as pomelos; she was wearing a two-piece bikini and reclining on the side of a swimming pool. There was a hand-written note attached: "This is my mistress. She is also expensive to maintain."

Before Indera could inform Liao of the photograph, however, Mrs Liao phoned to say that her husband had died of a heart attack. Indera was sent deliver a wreath to the mortuary in Jalan Pudu where a wake was held.

At the mortuary, Indera found that Liao's corpse had been placed in a unsealed coffin while the deceased's family member were bustling around to prepare for the funeral.

Just then a Malay man arrived and walked up to the coffin. "Mr. Liao, you have been my friend for 20 years," he said, looking down at the corpse. "I will not betray your trust in me. Here's the money you lent me last week." He placed a one hundred ringgit note in the coffin and went away.

Moments later, the deceased's debtor, Tze Chow Kah, appeared. He saw the money in the coffin. After praying to the corpse with lighted joss-sticks, he said: "Mr Liao, here's my first instalment of five hundred ringgit."

He pocketed the hundred ringgit note left earlier. Then he wrote out a cash cheque for six hundred ringgit and placed it on the chest of the deceased. "Mr Liao, when you are cremated, and this cheque is consumed in flames, my first instalment will be considered paid. More cash cheques will be sent to you by burning them."

Tze Chow Kah left. An indian man showed up. Noticing the cheque in the coffin, he shook his head. "Ai-yo-yo... this cheque is not legal tender in the
nether world," said the man. "But lucky for you, Mr Liao, I am no longer a money-lender but a licenced money-changer. I have currency notes from all over the world, including the Other World. With that, he took the cheque from the dead man's chest, replaced it with a bundle of Chinese Hell Bank notes and left.

His parting words were: "With the favourable exchange rates for Chinese Hell Bank notes against the ringgit, you have profited tremendously, Mr Liao."


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