Mind your pronunciation

A friend said I did not speak like a writer. So I enrolled in a course on how to speak well at a language centre. I had attended a preview of the course and was satisfied with the credentials of the instructor, who was a TV newscaster. There were thirty students in my class of whom all were working adults.

In the first lesson, we were asked to introduce ourselves and explain why we had enrolled for the course. Next, we were each asked to read a passage from a book. It ran like this:

"My mother went to a hotel near the Kuala Lumpur International Airport to see a friend, Mrs B. Rampa, who had flown in from Singapore. After not having seen each other for three years, they went to the hotel's lounge to chat over a few drinks.

It was early afternoon, and there were no other customers except for them and a Japanese tourist. They were each warming a bar stool and chatting when the Japanese tried to flirt with them. His face was red and obvously had had one drink too many.

He approached the two women. "Hello, can I buy you both a sake?"

"Beat it," my mother said.

Embarrassed at being rejected, the Japanese suddenly bared his teeth and muttered something in his language. Then he used foul language on the two women.

At that moment, a security guard appeared and asked the Japanese to leave. As he was escorted out of the lounge, he threatened to complain to a local Press at the rude treatment.

There was peace in the lounge again and my mother and Mrs Rampa giggled like little girls."

When one of the students, a sales manager, read the passage, it sounded like this:

"My mudder went to a hot-tell near the Kuara Lumpur International Air-pot to see a friend, Mrs B. Lampa, who had flown in from Singkapore. After not having sin each other for tree years, they went to the hot-tell's launch to chat over a few drinks.

It was early afternoon, and there were no other customers except for them and a Japanese tourist. They were each warming a bar stool and chatting when the Japanese tried to flood with them. His face was red and obvously had had one drink too many.

He approached the two women. "Harlow, can I buy you both a sake?"

"Bit it," my mother said.

Embarrassed at being rejected, the Japanese suddenly bared his tit and muttered something in his language. Then he used fowl language on the two women.

At that moment, a security guard appeared and arsed the Japanese to leave. As he was escorted out of the launch, he threatened to complain to a local Breast at the rude treatment.

There was piss in the launch again and my mudder and Mrs Lampa giggled like litter girls."

The whole class burst out laughing. Our instructor then read the passage himself and pointed out how a mispronunciation can change an innocuous word into an obscene one.

Throughout course, our lessons consisted mostly of learnng the International Phonetic Alphabet and pronouncing the consonants and vowels. Thereafter, we were taught "intonation" and "stress". When the course ended, we were each given a certificate of attendance.

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