From lipstick to broomstick

A comedian once said that courtship is that part of a girl's life which comes between the lipstick and the broomstick; after marriage, the broomstick prevails.

When George Goh, my ex-colleague, got married, he had promised his wife that he would change his lifestyle. This meant no more going to bars, nightclubs, karaokes and spas.

One evening, his buddy decided to celebrate his birthday in a nightclub in Jalan Bukit Bintang, K.L. George was invited to the stag party and couldn't say no.

When he got home in the wee hours of the morning, his wife was waiting for him. He breath smelled of alcohol and lipstick stains were on his shirt. There was a row, and his wife threw a fit. It was only after George had apologised that the matter was put to rest.

The next morning, George went to visit his parents. His wife was still sore and didn't want to go, preferring to visit her mother instead.

When Mr. Goh saw his son, he asked why there were scratches on his face.

"You know that bamboo blind in the balcony?" explained George. "Yesterday, when the sun had set, I was rolling it up when it landed on me."

Mr. Goh was not convinced. "A bamboo blind cannot cause those scratches," he said. "They can only be inflicted by your wife. Tell me, son, what happened?"

George told him.

Condoning his son's fling, Mr. Goh said: "Aiyah... going to a nightclub is a small thing. You should not let your wife hen-peck you. When I was your age, I used to go to those places, too. In fact, last week, I just discreetly went to a hanky panky spa. Son, you must show your wife who's the boss. Never be afraid of her."

Unfortunately, Mrs Goh was in the next room and overheard everything. Enraged, she charged at her husband with a broom.

"Outta the way, son!" yelled Mr. Goh as he bolted up the stairs to escape his wife. "My own bamboo blind is falling down!"

Mrs Goh pursued her husband but he went inside their bedroom and locked the door.

"Come out, this instant!" demanded Mrs. Goh.

"I'm a man and I do what I please," replied Mr. Goh. "Stupid is he who leaves the safety of his den when there is a tigress waiting for him outside."

/end